Times, Moments, Smirks, and Kisses
by PanopticBibelot
Summary: Time keeps going and Moments happen. Smirks are exchanged, but kisses are too. A series of ShikaTema one-shots.
1. Their love

***# READ THIS A/N. THERE IS SOME IMPORTANT STUFF IN HERE...WELL IMPORTANT TO ME! #***

**Hey, this is just a simple one-shot from many one-shots that I will be writing in TIMES, MOMENTS, SMIRKS, AND KISSES. My poll didnt have many votes but I decided to go with what I wanted. Which was... do all 3! I have yet to make the next TRTMN chapter. I have the idea in my head but it comes out bad when I put it on paper. The Konoha High Au will come out soon. Actually, I have had the first chapter written for a while. I'm so glad that its summer because I can write more.**

**If you like Switched at Birth and Wilke x Daphne is your favorite pairing then read A Collection of Moments. I made it and I would really appreciate it if people would read and review it.**

**If you are a Hunger Games fan read The 80th Hunger Games by dreamerangel99. **

**Dreamerangel99 is my bestie from school. We are working on a Titanic story together. We were not satisfied with Jack dying. And since we are fans, what site is better than fanfiction!**

**Anyways, I apologize for the long A/N.**

**Please review or Elmo will cuss you out.**

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Some people in Konoha say that through all the troubles, love is peaceful.

For Shikamaru and Temari, even through all the troubles, their love is anything but.

She is aggressive. She is violent. She is loud. She is course. She has a mouth worse than a sailor's. With a sharp and pointed look from her eyes, she makes children bawl for their mothers. A stampede would stop in fear when she "graces" it with her presence. She can make someone's life miserable with a snap of her fingers, a simple nod, or a mischievous wink that is paired with a smirk.

Yet he still loves her.

He is lazy. He is indifferent. He is aggravating. He is too calm, even when the situation calls for some form of passion. He can make the most patient and nice person (Hinata) irritated and impatient. He knows the perfect tactics to get under your skin. He can infuriate you with a just a sigh. With a simple smirk, he can make the 2nd to most calm, cool, and collected person (Neji) want commit suicide. Armed with the word troublesome, he makes you obtain the urge to pick a fight with a sober and very cranky Tsunade- which is instant death.

Yet she still loves him.

Their love is violent. They clash and clash and clash, although Temari does most of the yelling. His laziness causes her aggressiveness to escalate, which in-turn makes him more indifferent; the cycle then keeps repeating. Anyone can hear Temari's shouts clearly through Konoha. Everyone knows that she is getting more and more infuriated with each sigh that Shikamaru breaths and each "troublesome woman" he says.

Yet no one questions the love they have for each other.

Everyone knows their love is _never_ going to stay peaceful. But at the end of the day they're smiling, smirking, or grinning at each other. Their happiness is felt by people young and old. You can see the way he looks at her and the way she looks at him. You can see the slight blushes that spread across their faces after a brief moment of PDA is shown. You can tell their love is everlasting by Shikamaru's uncharacteristic but protective look when he glances at Temari and Temari's rare but soft smile that she reserves only for Shikamaru.

But when the wrong thing is done Temari yells then Shikamaru sighs and soon their game begins.

So in the end their love isn't calm or quiet. It isn't mushy or lovey-dovey. It isn't cute and cuddly. It isn't _ever _peaceful.

But it's still love.

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***&^$ READ PLEASE!$^&***

**Hey! I hope you liked. If you didnt get the 2nd to most calm, cool, and collected part lemme explain. Shikamaru is the calmest, coolest, and collected...est person (FYI collectedest is NOT a word). Neji is almost as collected, cool, and calm.**

**Remember this is a one-shot out of many so feel free to leave ideas or prompts that I could use. I still we be using my own ideas, so if your prompt isnt published,no hard feelings. It's nothing personal.**

**DONT FORGET TO CHECK OUT AND RECVIEW A COLLECTION OF MOMENTS BY LUVXHUGS (ME) AND THE 80TH HUNGER GAMES BY DREAMERANGEL99! SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THESE TWO STORIES...AND THIS ONE, TIMES, MOMENTS, SMIRKS, AND KISSES!**

**p.s. review this story or Elmo will use he foul language. We do Not want another Barney/Barnie{ Don't know which way to spell his name}. So review for the childrena and their childhood.**


	2. I love you?

I had just finished feeding the deer in the Nara compound. I had no more work and I decided to escape to the Hokage building before my mom came and forced me to get her groceries, chop some wood, do the dishes, and every other chore she could think of.

I went to the roof of the building and for some unknown reason, Temari was there, lying on her back, and watching the clouds.

She looked so…lazy; a look that I had never pictured her to have. She must have been very relaxed.

I silently tsked.

Being lazy and relaxed is _my _thing. Just because she is my girlfriend doesn't mean she can go stealing my trademark.

I lay down next to her and I stared up at the clouds.

Temari immediately sat up and stared down at me.

I looked back up at her with a bored expression.

"Woman, you are blocking the clouds." I said.

She sneered. "How can you watch those things? I've been here for ten minutes trying to find the fun in your little hobby and guess what? I'm bored out of my mind. I was just about to leave and go trick Konohamaru into thinking Naruto's dead. Now_ that _would have been fun. Konohamaru's reaction would have been _priceless_. But then you showed up and I thought, 'Hey, I might actually get some entertainment'. But no. You just have to watch those boring clouds. All they do is float around. They're nothing special. They float, bring rain, and then float again. What is the big deal? And…OPEN YOUR EYES WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

I sighed, looked straight at her, and then closed my eyes again.

She huffed. "Why are we even dating? Your so lazy and boring and you don't do anything. I would dump you right now if I didn't hate you as much as I hate my fan."

That confused me. Temari does not hate her fan. It's her weapon of choice. She dominates with it.

"But you love your fan." I said, opening my eyes.

She smiled, "Exactly."

She said it. Sort of. She said those 3 words. Well they were hidden beneath the 11 words she had spoken. She voiced her feelings with no hesitation whatsoever. So she must be telling the truth. And I feel the same way. But I cannot be bothered with finding an elaborate way to tell her "I love you too." Actually I can. In fact I know more ways than necessary to tell her "I love you". But then I would have to use more words than the minimum and that's troublesome. So I went with the classic 4 worded reply.

"I love you too."

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**Yeah, I fixed this. I should've a long time ago, but im stupid. Temari's I love you was hidden under 11 words if you start at the _'__I didn't'_**


	3. Temari's Diary

**Hey hope you like! I know its a little ooc for Temari to have a diary but, whatever...**

**Review or Rogerwill "Myahh!" you every where you go. (You'll understand if you watch American Dad. Roger...*chuckle* he's funny)**

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Shikamaru was having an internal crisis.

Yes, the great strategist of Konoha, who was gifted in keeping his exterior and interior indifferent and calm, was having an internal crisis.

Why? Temari's diary. He had found it in a clearing with the words **TEMARI'S PROPERTY** written in big, black, and bold letters. From all the female diaries he had seen in his lifetime, Shikamaru knew that the little blue journal in his hands was one of the many he had layed his eyes upon.

Should he drop Temari's diary, leave the clearing, and act like he had never seen the diary, let alone picked it up? Or should he open it and read everything Temari had written?

Images of him being killed by Temari in the most violent and brutal ways raced through his mind, pausing and slowing down at the most gruesome deaths. Shikamaru shuddered. Disturbing.

But curiosity won his internal war.

Shikamaru then opened the diary, justifying his action by thinking, '_A good strategist knows everything about his friend or foe. I never do this, so she should be glad. I am taking the initiative. Something she says I never do. This is me __**not **__being lazy, and she always tells me to be less lethargic. She's getting what she wanted. Me reading her diary is actually a __**good **__thing.'_

And with that, Shikamaru read Temari's first diary entry.

_**Dear Diary,**_

_**Never mind. You know what, this is stupid. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I'm throwing you away, sucks for you, Diary.**_

_**-Temari**_

Shikamaru flipped through the rest of the diary. Nothing.

Great. He went through all that debating for nothing. Temari will just remain that unsolved puzzle. Shikamaru will never understand the inner workings of her mind.

Shikamaru dropped the diary before walking off, barely noticing that he was being watched. _Whatever, _he thought, _too troublesome to deal with._

When Shikamaru was far into town, Temari emerged from the trees, entered the clearing, picked up her diary, and opened it to a page so she could begin writing.

_**Diary entry 87,**_

_**Idiot Nara. Doesn't he know anything about stealth? Every entry except that first page was written in disappearing ink. He is such a total dumbass. Why do I even remotely like him? I pictured myself liking a kick-ass ninja, who would know everything there is to know about genjutsu, ninjutsu, and taijutsu. What has become of me? It must be Konoha's trees and fresh air. I need to go back to Suna, where all I would see is sand, sand dunes, and more sand. And the air I would breathe is filled with grains of sand. Maybe that will clear my head enough to find out what the hell is wrong with me.**_

_** -Temari**_

Temari watched her entry disappear before closing her diary and dropping it in the clearing; where it would always look like junk she threw away.

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**I hope you enjoyed. Please review. I hope you guessed who was watching Shikamaru. IF you didnt, smh, It was obviousley Temari!**

**Review or Roger will "Myahh!"**


	4. Jealousy

Shikamaru, jealous? Never.

But when he sees a young male harmlessly flirting with _his _Temari, he can't help but bind the unsuspecting man in his shadow possession jutsu.

Before the guy even notices he can't move freely, Shikamaru leads him in the opposite direction of the sand kunoichi. While his victim ponders how he ever ended up in the Forest of Death, the genius makes his way back to Temari, ignoring her knowing smirk.

"Jealous much?" she says.

Shikamaru scoffs. "I never get jealous."

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**Did you like? I hope you did. Please use the pretty review button below. It feels insecure when everyone ignores it.**


	5. Sexuality

Everyone questioned his sexuality.

He always called women troublesome and he preferred the company of Shino, who had a weird thing with bugs.

His friends questioned.

His parents questioned.

Tsunade did.

Hell, even Asuma did.

But when Choji found him and Temari making out under a tree, he told everyone. And when everyone ventured to the tree and saw Shikamaru and Temari _still _going at it, they realized that Shikamaru, contrary to popular belief, was into girls. He was even the first of his class to get a girlfriend.

But how, they asked. He always showed how much he detested their annoying behavior. He ignored them completely. Sure that sounds a lot like what Sasuke does, but unlike Sasuke, Shikamaru wasn't extremely strong or handsome.

So how in the world did Shikamaru manage to snag such a sexy piece of ass, Kiba asks.

"And she's an older woman." Konohamaru added.

All the young men of Konoha came together to figure this out, in hopes that they could obtain a girlfriend as beautiful as Temari.

Suddenly Naruto stood up. "I'll ignore and call women troublesome, too! Believe it!"

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**Review please. I hope no one was offended or something.**


	6. Personal Hell

Many people viewed hell as different things. Such as work; the ocean; a gym; and so forth.

To Shikamaru, hell was his home.

No he didn't live in crappy conditions, in-fact he was upper-middle class.

No his parents were not abusive. Okay, maybe his mom. Just a smidge.

His home was just...troublesome. When he was home, he was in the clutches of the evil witch Yoshino. Or as some people call her, Shikamaru's mom.

Anyway, the ninth circle of hell, in Shikamaru's view, was the kitchen. Despite the fact that many warm family moments take place in this room, the kitchen was dangerous.

Fire flares up, ready to burn the unsuspecting human that walks past the stove. Scorching hot metal sits around, ready to sear skin. Sharp, pointy objects are littered everywhere. Water boiled to the point of blistering and burning flesh bubbles in pots.

In short, the kitchen is a torcher chamber.

Shikamaru has to watch what comes out of his mouth when dining. If he says the wrong thing, a knife is hurled in his direction. Piping-hot liquids might 'accidently' spill onto his lap.

Shikamaru swears, his mother must have arranged the kitchen in a way that allows her to immediately punish him if he says or does wrong.

As soon as his father mumbles "You're excused" and his mother nods in agreement, Shikamaru scurries off to his room, the only safe-haven in his personal hell-hole.

But now, as he watches Temari search through cupboards and the fridge, looking for the ingredients and utensils to make the perfect pasta for him and his family, Shikamaru feels that maybe the ninth circle of hell isn't so terrible.


	7. Second Kiss

Teal eyes stared into brown ones.

Faces inched closer. Lips touched. Fireworks exploded. Trumpets sounded. People cheered.

The boy and girl pulled apart.

"Whoa." Temari said.

"Whoa." Shikamaru agreed.

Temari then smirked as she threw her hands around Shikamaru's neck. Shikamaru smirked back as he wrapped his arms around Temari's waist, pulling her closer. Their lips met again; their second kiss. A slow and sweet kiss that soon turned intense. A kiss shared between two teens in an empty classroom.

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**If you're wondering, "Hey, they are in an empty classroom, so how was their firework and trumpets and ppl cheering."  
**

**Well, it was what they were feeling. Like people are like "I kissed him and I saw fireworks." Well thats what i've read in books.**

**REVIEW!**


	8. FanGirl

Fan girls.

Temari hates them.

They pick a boy based on looks and some-what on personality. Then they constantly talk about boy, giggle, and stalk him. They don't even bother to learn about said boy.

Logic of fan girls:

Sasuke. He's handsome. He's smart and skilled and strong and cool. His glances make you melt. By just chuckling, he makes you want to commit a crime and happily prance off to prison. Never mind the fact that he has the potential to be a merciless killer.

Neji. He is handsome – No, BEAUTIFUL. He, like Sasuke, is skilled, smart, cool and strong. One look from his pale eyes makes you shudder, in a good way. Ignore the fact that he sees you as pathetic, lesser beings who are too far below him to be noticed.

Sai. He is awkward in a cute way. He asks you questions about your emotions. Like he really cares about the way you feel. He's artsy. Don't take notice to his brutal honesty that he ruthlessly shoots at you, cutting holes in your spirit.

Shikamaru. He's cool and calm. He's not insanely handsome like Sasuke, but good looking. And he's smart. Like really smart. A genius. An academic prodigy. Intelligent in science, math, language, and the ways of the world. He could also hold his own in physical things like sports. And even though he is clearly annoyed by their presence, fan-girls are crazy about him.

And _that_ is why Temari hates them.

After seeing Shikamaru kiss her. After hearing Shikamaru declare Temari as his girlfriend. After hearing him whisper "I love you" to her as they talk in the back of the class. (And fan-girls do hear. They have crush senses.) After Shikamaru himself told them to back the hell off, the fan-girls _still _had the _audacity _to _continue_ pursuing him.

And Temari loathes them for it.

Stupid fan-girls. Stupid fan-girls and their god-damn squeals, their tight clothes, their excessive make-up, and their infatuation for _her _Shikamaru.

But Temari kind of understands. Because she, just a teensy bit, is a fan-girl for Shikamaru and only Shikamaru. And maybe, once every month or so, Temari fan-girl squeals over her boyfriend.

But shhh. It's a secret.

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**Hope you liked. I just thought that Temari would make a really cute fan-girl, without being too OOC. REVIEW!**


	9. Tough Love

Why does Temari hit Shikamaru?

Because she loves him.

Love is tough and aggressive. If she didn't hit him, what other way would she show her love for him?

Kisses, chocolates, and hugs? If she did that, Temari would be no different from the average Sakura.

So Temari settles on hitting and kicking; because no love is better than tough love.

Tough love builds character. Shikamaru wakes up on time because she punches him. He is punctual because she kicks him.

Would he be a jounin if it wasn't for her fan striking him? Of course not.

And that's what Temari is going to keep thinking.

Because what kind of girlfriend knows that she physically hurts her boyfriend because he can be an annoying little prick?

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**Okay, I dont know if I absolutely love this one but...whatever. I hope you like it though.**


	10. Giggles

Giggling is a sound Temari absolutely, utterly, and _irrevocably_ despises.

Its stupid and obnoxious. It's abnormal. If you want to laugh, then do it. You want to chuckle? Go right ahead. Snorting? Nobody cares! Well, at least not her. But giggling?

Don't even.

Imagine Temari's shock and horror when a _giggle _escaped her lips after Shikamaru complimented her on her fighting style.

"Did you just-"

Temari shook her head vigorously.

"-giggle?" He finished.

"What, me? Never." She said hastily, inwardly cursing herself for making that atrocious sound.

Shikamaru raised an eybrow and smirked, knowing full well that Temari _had_ giggled.

It was a cute one, too.

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**Well I hope you liked it. Sorry for any errors. I typed it on my iPhone. And everyone knows that auto-correct can be a huge pain in the ass. I tried to get all the mistakes out so...Yeah. Please do me the awesome favor of reviewing.**


	11. System

Shikamaru doesn't need to be passionate and Temari doesn't need to be lethargic.

When someone confronts Shikamaru and starts insulting him, he just lays back in the grass as apathetic as ever. Temari, however, is ready to burst.

When a particularly long and harsh string of insults is spat at him, Shikamaru shrugs it off while Temari explodes. She then proceeds to beat the shit out of the confronter verbally...then physically.

When Temari is all jittery, watching her genin compete in the chunin exams, Shikamaru lightly touches her arm. She looks at him and tries to calm down..and fails. But it doesn't matter.

That was Shikamaru and Temari's system.

It was simple, really. Temari is loud, aggressive, and passionate enough for the both of them. Shikamaru is lazy, indifferent, and non-caring enough for the two. The system worked.

They worked.

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**not sure if I like or hate this one. It sounded better in my head. Meh, who cares. Again typed on my phone. So judge fairly. Or unfairly, it was my choice to use my phone after all. And actually i think I'm pretty damn good at typing wih my phone.**


	12. Don't Worry

When Temari wakes up at the crack of dawn to head out and train, Shikamaru still lays in bed. She needn't worry though.

She trusts Shikamaru to watch the house; albeit half-assed.

When Shikamaru sees Temari leave the house in her short kimono with the revealing neckline, he doesn't fret.

He knows Temari will kick the ass of any man who dares to lay a hand on her.

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**I feel like this one is better than the last one. Again typed on my phone. Again I feel like I'm a damn good phone typerer. I am fully aware that typerer is not a word.**


	13. Poetic Justice

**Hey! School is almost here and I didnt do everything I wanted to do on fanfiction this summer...oh well. Anyways, it has come to my attention that I hadn't put a disclaimer so here goes.**

**I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I am not creative enough to make a kick-ass story about kick-ass ninja's who kick, well, ass.**

**I hope you enjoy this.**

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It was payback. Some divine retribution handed out to Temari for all the times she had teased Ino. For all the Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, and all other MTV comments. Temari's karma had come and bit her in the ass- rather hard- for the things she had said to her boyfriend hopping gal pal (If you believe they're friends).

Temari was pregnant. At the young age of 18. And a wimpy, lazy 16-year-old is the father. And Ino, the boyfriend jumping, two-timing, 'it's just sex' saying girl was not.

"And you thought _I _would be the pregnant one! It's poetic justice!" Ino said as she laughed herself to tears.

"We'll kill the bastard." Kankuro said while Gaara went off to make ready the baseball bat, the brass knuckles, and the stun gun.

Shikamaru, the father, just nodded.

"I'm pregnant. _You're _the father." Temari said louder.

"Mm-hmm"

"Pregnant."

"Yep."

"Yep? _Yep? _Did you not _hear _me? I'm _pregnant_! There's a _bun_ in the oven! I'm knocked up. There is a _bat_ in my cave! _Preggo_! And it's _yours_! The life inside me is yours!" Temari yelled, on the verge of hysteria.

"I heard you the first time." Shikamaru sighed.

"And you're not worried or mad?"

"Not really. We're both seniors, what with my skipping grades. We're graduating soon and you're an adult. I already know what I'll be doing with my life. My mom probably carved the college I'll be going to and my occupation into stone before I was born. If we have this baby, who cares?"

"Your parents will care."

"My dad goes with what my mom does and she's always going on and on about grandchildren."

Temari felt somewhat better. He was right. Of course he was. He's always right. His parents wouldn't care (maybe) and his mom would get grandchildren.

"Wait. Grand_children?_ Meaning more than one? No way. Never. One kid is good enough for the rest of my life."

Of course, later, Temari did discover that she was going to have triplets.

_God damn you, poetic justice. You did that just to spite me._

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**I really hoped you enjoyed. Since I am only a teenager, Ive never been pregnant but I do know people usually freak out more when they find out that they're preggers. So forgive me if they all seem so chill about it. **

**And the triplets part... One kid or twins seemed overused so I decided to pick an odd number that was over 1 and not too much. **

**Review please. I really hope you enjoyed this and I think I'll put another disclaimer, just to be catious.**

**I don't own Naruto or its characters just this story. I also don't own MTV or 16 and pregnant or Teen Mom (because it was mentioned and I don't know whether fanfiction will be on your ass if you make a reference to another show/book/whatever).**


	14. A Letter to Shikamaru

**This one is longer than the other ones. **

**I hope you enjoy.**

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The raised eyebrow and smirk; that's what made me consider you.

Most people would think that those little facial movements would anger me. Especially after I had spilled my drink, tripped, and fell into the little puddle of fruit punch. Yes, I was a little miffed because I was wearing my brand new white pants, and the cherry-punch stain that was on my ass looked like my period had come unexpectedly. I grumbled and stood up, waiting for the laughter to come. It didn't. You could see that everyone wanted to laugh, wanted to let loose and just point at me and laugh themselves to tears. But what was that thing in their eyes? Fear. They were scared of me and my family. Of our reactions. Of Gaara and his insane tendencies. Of Kankuro and his knack of turning anything made of wood into a weapon. Of me and my cynical attitude and bitchiness. Everyone was afraid of me but you.

Instead of laughing heartily, you chuckled and smirked. I had whipped my head around and stared you straight in the eye, daring you to laugh. People gasped, thinking I would crush you, but you still kept that smirk on your face, challenging me. I left the party soon after that, not wanting to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of punch seeping through my pants. But when I was at home in the comfort of my own room, trying to brush my hair before I went off to bed, you came to mind.

I thought about how your hair would look out of that single ponytail. I thought about running my hand through it, untangling it. When I saw the little smile on my face in the mirror, I snapped out of it, and cursed you. Not because I wanted you to die a horrible, nasty death. Okay, maybe I did. But only because you screwed me up. I, Temari, was the cold, mean, bitchy chick who would never fall in love with the bumbling idiots the human race calls men. I was supposed to remain a lone wolf, doing my own thing, being my own person.

And you messed that up.

I remember our first little conversation. I was too busy wondering about why you had come to mind the night before and in the morning while I was eating my pancakes, when I bumped into you. I wasn't flustered, just frustrated. My first thought was not _'oh my god! It's him!'_ or _'Holy shit! What do I say? WHAT DO I SAY?'._ What I was thinking when I had looked up and saw that I had walked into you was _'Speak of the devil. You devious little fucker. Is it not enough that_ _you are in my mind? Do you have to plague me in life, too.'_.

I remember that I had spoken first and said that you should watch where you're going. Then you mumbled sorry. I kept staring at you, mesmerized by the movement of your lips. Then you stared at me with a confused expression. I looked down immediately, embarrassed. Then I cursed your lips, for making me look like a fool in front of you. Then your feet grabbed my attention.

"Your shoes are untied." I said.

"Okay." You said, but you still didn't do anything.

"Um…aren't you gonna tie it?"

"No. Too troublesome. If I trip, so be it."

I rolled my eyes and walked past you, couldn't let my reputation of bitchiness falter. But after that exchange, I deduced that you were a lazy little bastard. Anything that needed more than blinking and nodding, you sighed and complained. I couldn't believe that I had developed a crush on a lazy guy. Then I realized that in my thoughts, I had associated the word crush - as in feelings of like or fondness - with you. It was then that I knew that I was falling. Falling hard.

Over time we became more acquainted. I discovered you were a genius. And still are. But when I had found out that you got perfect scores on everything, homework and exams, I couldn't believe it. I mean a lazy sloth like you a genius? Not a chance. But it was true. Any question thrown at you, you answered it effortlessly. I remember how I would ask you random, difficult questions I'd find on the internet. You'd answer them with a sigh, and I'd check the answers – only to find out that you were right – before I went to find more difficult questions.

We had become an inseparable pair. Eating lunch together in the cafeteria, sharing a look when choosing partners, always looking for eachother first. And I wasn't even your bestfriend. Everybody thought we were a couple, even though I angrily told them no every time they'd even think of suggesting it.

Do you recall the time you told me your age? I just stood there staring at you. I remember thinking how. You're taller than me – well girls stop growing before boys. You're smarter than me – even though it is possible for someone who is younger to be the smart one. You were a senior just like me - well I guess that's a given because you're so intelligent. But I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that you're 3 years younger than me. Everything about you seemed older. The way you walked. The way your face looked. You were just mature. But even though I was surprised and pleased at your un-annoying behavior (Well, you are annoying just not immature), I was also disappointed. How could I like you? You were 3 years younger. That means when you were 10, I was 13. When you were being born, I was already _walking_ around in my pull-ups and going through potty training, I was speaking clipped and distorted sentences in a toddler's voice.

I didn't talk to you for a whole week after that. I was hoping that my feelings for you would fade if I didn't interact with you. But that didn't work. If anything, they grew stronger. I was in Shikamaru-Withdrawal. I spent most of my time in my room eating ice-cream and watching only romantic dramas. I barely talked to my brothers. I neglected my duties as the only one who could cook and the only one who knew what to buy at the grocery store. Kankuro came and asked me if I was going to kill myself. Gaara complained that he was malnourished and sick of eating instant-ramen. I yelled at them to leave before turning off 'Ghost'. I had to rethink the way I was handling the new-found information. I was being this way because of age. Did it matter that our ages were 3 years apart. And even though I talked to you the next day and pretended that I _hadn't _been avoiding you for a week, I was still not over our age difference. Even now, I haven't managed to look over it. Yes, even after everything we have been through, I am still not over it.

Do you remember what you said when I asked you out? You said women should never ask the men out. I punched you stomped away, thinking that what you had said was your way of turning me down. You then called my name and when I finally turned around you were running at me. I couldn't believe my eyes. The king of laziness was _running _at me. When you reached me you said that I hadn't let you finish. Then you asked me out and soon we were dating, not exclusively though. Okay never mind, it was very exclusive.

I'm also thankful to you. For not saying anything when I accidently bit your lip during our first kissed. I thought you would say something smart-assy. Actually, I expected it. But you didn't, so thanks. I remember how I kept on kissing you every chance I got, just so I could get better. And I am much better, if I do say so myself. You know, kissing you never gets old. It feels like the first time. Fireworks and trumpets. I never expected myself to be like that. Saying kisses feel like fireworks and all. It makes me feel girly. Don't comment.

And now for me to get to the point of this letter. You know I am not good at expressing my emotions, so I wrote everything down. Okay here goes. Even though you ruined me and made me lose some of my bitchy cynical behavior. Even though you made me a tad bit girly and made me _giggle_ –annoying sound – I still love you.

Yep that's right. I, Temari, the girl who would've rather been a lone-wolf, doing her thing, and being her own person, loves you.

And I'm not taking it back.

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**I think this is a two-shot. Shikamaru's reply will come later. Yep, I havent written it yet. But I do have a general idea in my head. I hope you liked this one. I did it in first person, so I dont know if its really good but I tried my best. And the last chapter and this one was typed on a computer. Yeah, Im ditching my phone for the time-being.**


	15. Shikamaru's Reply

**The reply to Temari's letter. It's long too. I hope you enjoy it****.**

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I don't think anyone can blame me for chuckling.

I found it extremely funny that you tripped into cherry-punch while wearing white pants. I mean, you were the 'poised-bitchy-girl-who-destroys-anyone-that defies-her', as people called you. Now when someone who's personality screams, "Bitchy and graceful" trips into bright red punch, it's hard not to find any humor in it.

And just so you know, I was just a tiny bit scared of you. But mosty I was weary of you. Because, you know, you looked like the epitome of troublesome – and I was right, you are the epitome of troublesome. And like everyone else, I was scared shitless by your brothers. Hell, I still am. Gaara just watches me with those eyes, very creepy. And Kankuro is so big. I think they're still convinced that I'm going to hurt you or something.

And I had guessed somebody was thinking of me that night, because I had a sneezing fit. But I did think about you, too. Not your hair, or your body, but your eyes. They were really...enticing, and they still are. They looked sad, though. But then I thought, what do I care. You were probably just another stupid, troublesome girl who would end up falling head over heels for Sasuke. And like every other Sasuke fan-girl, you would start planning ways to outdo the other females that flock him. But what I didn't foresee was that you'd end up falling for me. And that I, the lazy guy who didn't want anything to do with a member of the erratic species called women, was falling for you.

That little conversation wasn't supposed to mean anything to me. It was supposed to be just like any other conversation I had. I was supposed to tune it out. It was just supposed to be noise like everything else. But when you rolled your eyes and shoved past me – really rude – I found myself wanting to talk to you again. And the next day, I had tied my shoes.

It was strange, the feelings that I had for you. I wanted to be around you. And that scared me, because I don't like being around anyone. Except Choji, if he's not eating. No, I didn't want to help you like some knight in shining armor. You were pretty capable of helping yourself, and that hasn't changed. I didn't want to protect you – maybe a little – because you were already strong. I just wanted your company. I really enjoyed your presence; especially when you weren't asking me random questions that I already knew the answer to. That was annoying and bothersome. Waste of my time, really. When you were off doing something else with someone else, I found myself hoping that you'd ditch the person already and find me. Then I'd back track and go over that thought before expelling you from my head.

Seriously, you're not over the age thing? Does it matter when we were born? We're older now, so who cares. And I remember that week. I was quite bored. On the first day, I spent most of my time with Choji, which isn't unusual but all he wanted to do was talk about you. "Where's Temari?", "Why aren't you with her", "Why are you here, find Temari". I did want to find you, but I can't let my reputation of laziness falter. But in all seriousness, I was going through something similar to what you were dealing with. Temari-Withdrawal. I didn't eat ice-cream or watch romantic dramas. I was myself, but on a harsher scale. I gave up talking completely, I slept for half the day, I ate, then went back to sleep. My laziness was at it's zenith. I didn't rethink how I was dealing with your absence. Everything went back to normal when you walked up to me at school. The week was over and you went back to talking to me. I replied, pretending like nothing happened. But my throat did hurt and my voice was raspy.

Yes, I do remember what I said when you asked me out. And I meant it, I still mean it. And that punch really hurt. I was surprised to, you know. I, Shikamaru, was running after you. Forget the 'after you'. I don't run unless it's required. But I did it anyway, so be glad. And you're right, our relationship was very exclusive from the get-go. When other guys flirt with you, I get really angry. But I'm probably never going to do anything about it. I _am _the lazy one.

And you are very welcome. It did hurt when you bit my lip but I guess that was a blessing because you kept on kissing me after. I'm very fond of your kisses. And I will comment. That whole fireworks and trumpets thing sounded extremely girly. What's happening to you? Are you even Temari?

And the thing we've all been waiting for: the reply. I could've just gone to your house and told you everything, but my bed is really comfortable and I plan on sleeping after I send this out.

Temari, I couldn't help but smile when reading your letter. And when you cursed me the night you first thought of me, it worked. I had found myself dating the bitchiest, most cynical, and most troublesome woman ever. And cursing my lips succeeded, too. Because after you shoved right past me and I went on to class, some idiot through a softball and it hit me smack-dab on my mouth. Painful and random. What the hell was Naruto thinking? So I curse you, for payback. I curse you and hope that you die with me. I hope that you are stuck with the lazy guy who didn't want anything to do with the erratic species called women.

Because he loves you too.

And like you, he won't take it back.

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**I hope you enjoy. Since it was written in first person, i dont know if its amazing.**


	16. Chunin Exams

You had won. You had me backed into a corner and I couldn't get out. You had broken through all my defenses and successfully reached the King. Checkmate. It was now time to overthrow the monarch.

All you had to do was finish it. Deliver the coup de grâce. The finishing blow. I would've been the loser and you would have moved on to the next match. Instead, you uttered the words of self-disqualification. You took yourself out of the exams, making me the winner. I had seen through the excuse that you had said so airily, not caring about your status as a ninja.

You definitely had more chakra left.

* * *

**Ok, so I know that Shikamaru did not need to deliver the finishing blow - as in killing the person. All he needed to do was make Temari give up using th shadow possession jutsu. But to me, the coup de grace was Shikamaru making Temari quit. Because he would be eliminating her. From the chunin exams matches.**

**And the chess reference: All Temari's methods to avoid Shikamaru's shadow possesion jutsu was her pawns and bishops and knights and rooks and such. She, herself, was the king - no not queen - the goal.**

** I feel like the last sentence isn't as powerful as I wanted to be. So give me feedback and ****Review!**

**Woah, the a/n is bigger than the actual one-shot. God, I'm a weirdo.**


	17. Friends

Temari didn't understand the word 'friends'. Most likely because she didn't have any. All her peers were afraid of her and she didn't trust anyone of them. Hell, it took her a long time to trust her brothers. But even though she had none, the word 'friend' was everywhere.

It was the universal message of most television shows, ads, and life. 'Friends help you through hard times'. 'I'll save him because he's my friend'. 'I'll lay down my life for my friends'. Temari had a very hard time laying down her life for her siblings.

But after her family had changed for the better, and Temari could confidently say that she would die for her brothers' sake, she saved Shikamaru. Her first friend.

* * *

**I honestly do not know if Temari had any friends back in the Suna but fuck it. Lets just pretend she didn't for the sake of this one-shot and more to come. Okay? Okay.**

**So school is almost here - if it hasn't started already for some - but how was your summer? Mine was...okay.**


	18. Troublesome Childbirth

Her grip on his fingers tightened. His blood had stopped flowing to his hand. Was she trying to amputate him? _When will this end?_

A baby's cry filled the air. It was over and Temari's hold on his hand loosened.

"It's a boy!" The nurse said happily.

_Course it is. _Shikamaru thought. _If I couldn't get an obedient wife, why would my children come in the order I wanted?_

Temari reached out to grab the sticky and red bundle of joy. "Ew, what the fuck is that?" she said.

Only Temari could say a sentence like that with affection, joy, and happiness.

Shikamaru sighed. The ordeal was over and he could stop worrying…about his hand.

Temari cooed to the baby, her previous and unnecessary sentence forgotten. Shikamaru sighed once more; the nurse is going to have to pry his child away from Temari just so she could wash him. And he being the husband and 'daddy' would have to help.

Troublesome childbirth.

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**Did you like? Yes? No? I dont know if this is too OOC or not. What say you, my dear reader?**


	19. Analyzing the Dangerous Shiho

**Long chapter title, YAY! Sorry, I just wanted to point that out. Yeah ... Just read the chapter.**

* * *

Temari never really noticed Shiho. She had always seen her as the quiet and slightly awkward girl. And for the longest time she had thought Shiho's name was Shihu.

But Temari started to take notice to 'Shihu' when she saw the swirly-spectacled girl spending time with the lazy genius, Shikamaru.

Temari had found out Shihu's name was actually Shiho, when Shikamaru had said it and pointed out the frizzy-haired blonde during one of their pointless conversations. Since then, Temari analyzed Shiho whenever they were in the same room. (Which was often. They had most of the same classes together. Temari hadn't known)

After 2 weeks of watching the other blonde out of the corner of her eye, Temari had completely figured her out. Shiho was a nice and cheery girl. She's happy to be around people but is a little nervous in their presence. She's smart, not super duper smart, but smart enough. She wouldn't challenge and test other people's patience and she was obedient. Submissive almost. Everything Shikamaru wanted in a women.

Everything Temari wasn't.

And Shiho had kept on finding ways to be around the sloth. Her 'normal girl' personality shining as if it was begging Shikamaru to notice that she was the girl of his plain, boring, not-in-anyway-outrageous dreams.

Shiho was dangerous, Temari decided, and she didn't know it. And there is nothing more perilous or terrifying than someone who is deadly and ignorant.

In the future Temari would have to play her cards right when pertaining to Shikamaru. But for now, she'll keep on analyzing, speculating, and concluding.

And even though Temari doesn't understand why she's scrutinizing some timid chick who likes the lazy bastard, she will wait until the opportunity arises for her to swoop in and show Shikamaru that an obedient personality isn't always the best.

* * *

**So, school starts on Monday for me and nobody answered my question. So for the second time: HOW WAS YOUR FUCKING SUMMER? I hope the Shiho description was right, if it wasnt then screw it, I don't care. Okay maybe I do care. But barely.**


	20. When Temari Made Shikamaru A Man

**If you're going back to school tomorrow like me then take this as a back to school present. If you're not going back to school tomorrow, you are a lucky bitch and you piss me off. But then again, school ended in May for me. So...:/**

* * *

It all started when Temari walked up to him, a hand on her hip and a challenging smirk.

"Hey Shikamaru, you ready to become a man." she said with a wink.

_She coudn't mean...no way! She does. I can't believe it._

"Sure." Shikamaru said, _sounding_ disinterested. "Why not?"

Temari smiled. "Good. Be at my house in twenty minutes. If you're late - even by a minute - you'll never get this opportunity again."

Shikamaru made sure to get Temari's house on time and when she let him in, she took him to her back yard and handed him an axe he hadn't seen in her hands before.

"Once you're done chopping wood, cut the grass. Then fix my fence and paint it white. You know what, take down the fence and build me a new one. And if you do a half-assed job on any of these tasks you'll have to do it again until you get it right."

It killed Shikamaru to say this especially when an unexpected squeak infiltrated his voice.

"But... I thought I was becoming a man."

"You are." Temari said. "Only the manliest of men can do these things for me."

"But...but-"

"You'll thank me later. Trust me."

Temari returned to the comfort of her house and Shikamaru could have sworn he heard cackling.

When Shikamaru left, his arms, shoulders, and back were sore and he knew it would hurt more in the morning. He had to repeat everything at least twice. Temari could be very picky. Who cares if the wood wasn't chopped well or the fence was crooked? She can buy wood at a tool shop and the fence would still keep all the unwanted things out.

The next morning, Shikamaru's body hurt like a bitch. He didn't want to get out of bed but his mother insisted that he go out and "Buy the pants that make your butt look like a dream...or I'll kill you...while smiling."

Troublesome mothers.

While out in town trying not to focus on the pain in his upper body, Ino latched on to his arm.

"Shikamaru did you get muscles? Oh my god you did!"

Shikamaru tried to pry Ino off his arm when Sakura grabbed his other one.

"Oh my god, Shikamaru! You're muscles are, like, hard."

A bunch of squealing attacked Shikamaru's ears and he distinctly heard the words "Sexy" and "So rapeable".

Shikamaru had no time to assess the situation before hundreds of girls jumped him.

Before he had drowned in the sea of colors, lipstick, and perfume, he was able to make out Temari. She was standing away from the mass of predatory females, grinning.

Shikamaru remembered her words:_ You'll thank me later. Trust me._

She did this on purpose. She made him do all that grueling labor so he could die from a bunch of women trying to violate him. Sure, Kakashi or Jaraiya would have appreciated a death like this, but Shikamaru did not want to die by the very things he called troublesome and would rather avoid!

But what was the point of this! What could Temari be possibly trying to achieve from this?

Of course. Getting him out the way would mean one less "stupid bastard" as Temari always says.

"Damn...you...Temari." Shikamaru managed to say before he was knocked out by too much perfume and the force of someone's boobs smashing his face.

Lord knows what those girls did to him while he was unconscious.

* * *

**Did you like?** **I'm sorry if Sakura seems stupid. I wasn't trying to say she is dumbIf anyone was too OOC, then tell me. If you don't then...then...then...I don't know. Just tell me, okay?**


	21. Unrequited Puppy Love

Temari gulped as she reached towards him. Every time she would go near him he'd glare at her and give a low growl. Just like now. His eyes were flashing and his teeth were bared, as if to say, "I hate you and If you come near, I'll hurt you".

Temari flinched and backed away. It was always the same. He hated her. But she loved him. And he, no matter what, did not feel the same way. Temari didn't ever think she would end up trapped in unrequited love. But that made it hurt even more.

"WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR DOG NOT LIKE ME?!"

Shikamaru shrugged. "You'd think he'd be used to you by now. Maybe you should stop trying."

"Maybe. But I love dogs and he is just so...so...so fucking adorable!" Temari stuck her hand out, trying to pet the too cute lab. But as always, he growled, glared, and showed his unbelievably sharp-looking teeth.

Temari pulled her hand back, a look of rejection and sadness etched on her face. Was she disgusting to the dog? Did he see her as garbage? WHAT WAS SHE DOING WRONG?!

"If it makes you feel better, I still love you." Shikamaru said in all his monotonous glory.

Temari looked up at Shikamaru with a sad look on her face and shook her head.

"It's not the same."

* * *

**Did you like? I hope you did. I seriously do. I had this other chapter done but I don't know if Im ever going to post it. **


	22. Conversations

Shikamaru hates starting conversations. From all the exchanges he had with others, he found out that most people were annoying and all the same.

So after this realization, Shikamaru stopped trying.

Just going through the particulars were a hassle. He kept to himself and never did anything that would make him noticed. That was how he lived and he liked it that way.

But when he saw the blonde, spikey-haired girl walk into the café, teal eyes appraising so she looked more like a critic than a normal, prissy girl; Shikamaru just _knew _that he had to start a conversation.

So he stood up and sat down in the seat across from her.

"I'm Shikamaru." He said with a smirk.

The girl eyed him for a second. "Temari."

And the conversation of a lifetime took off from there.

Troublesome.

* * *

**And you hated starting convos. Troublesome change indeed.**

**Anyways hope you liked, came to me in one of my many boring classes.**


	23. It Was the Face

It was her face.

Determined eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to lose.

Beads of sweat rolling down from her temples to her chin to the ground.

Cheeks flushed from the embarrassment that was sure to come from her loss.

If she could move, she probably would have covered her ears so she wouldn't hear the words, "Temari lost!", flow out of the announcers lips.

Her mouth was pressed into a thin line.

Her face clearly showed that she wanted to win badly. So how could he, the one who didn't even care, crush her hopes?

"Jeez, I give up!"

After making up a valid excuse, he spared her another glance.

Her eyes were wide open.

Anger was there but so was relief.

Her mouth was hung open and her cheeks were still flushed from embarrassment, resentment, and thanks.

Shikamaru suppressed a smile.

Yep, it was the face.

* * *

**I hope you like. This came to me like 20 minutes ago. Had to write it. Just had too.**


	24. The Ironic Anecdote of Shikamaru's Life

After Shikamaru explained his life ambitions to Temari, she laughed.

"Let me tell you the anecdote of your life. It will be plain, boring, and you'll never have kids or a wife because no girl will be fool enough to marry or hook up with you." She said through her mirthfull chuckles and snorts.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and turned over in the soft grass, taking a well-deserved nap. Hey, he just spent a day guiding _Temari_. It's tiresome.

Many years passed since then, and after the wedding bells chimed and the couple was whisked off to the beautiful island Yoshino picked out for her son's honeymoon, Shikamaru smirked – something Temari forbade him to do while the wedding and reception was going on.

"The hell you smirking at?" Temari questioned, irked at the fact that Shikamaru had the audacity to smirk on the first night of their honeymoon.

"The irony." He said before carrying Temari over the threshold.

* * *

**Did you like? I was in english and we were doing the literary lexicon quiz. Anecdote and Irony were on the quiz and I kept on mulling over them in my mind. Then out of nowhere...WORDS!...and I thought up a one-shot. No, it wasn't a boom, the words just came...like...a freaking...explosion. Yeah.**


	25. The Forever Alone Spectators

Ino and Sakura decided to watch Shikamaru and Temari say their goodbyes. They were the talk of the town, the oddest couple. Why not watch? Sakura had set up lawn chairs while Ino brought the popcorn and soda. It was like a mini drive in…without the cars…or movie. But who cares? Temari and Shikamaru's relationship was the cutest and funniest romantic comedy out there. Konohagakure had named it '_When Opposites Attract' _and other cheesy sounding titles.

"Okay Shikamaru." Temari said. "I'll be leaving and I don't know when I'm coming back so...so..so... -"

Temari stopped talking and leaned in. "Their watching us." She said to Shikamaru.

"I know. Just ignore them and keep going."

Ino and Sakura silently conferred.

"Look how Shikamaru's non-caring ways are showing." Sakura pointed out.

Ino nodded. "Mm-hmm. Do you see how Temari's getting frustrated? She wants to tell him something without the presence of others. You can tell by the murder-vibes she's sending us."

Temari eyebrows furrowed and her nose wrinkled. They were blatantly ignoring her murder-vibes. And she'd have to leave as soon as she tells Shikamaru her message so she won't be able to make them pay.

"As I was saying, I don't know when I'll be back – and I've thought about this for the past month – but I lo...lo...I lo..." Temari shook her head. "I L.O. – shit I can't even spell it."

"You can tell she means it but she's not comfortable with the word. Most likely childhood trauma." Ino said.

"Well no duh. She grew up without a mother, had a jackass-ish father and a homicidal little brother. Why wouldn't she be emotionally scarred?" Sakura said, bonking Ino not-too-softly on the head for her obvious statement.

"Ow!" Ino shouted as she held her forehead. With her other hand, she pinched Sakura's forearm.

Sakura hissed.

"Bitch." They said in unison.

Temari rolled her eyes and stepped closer to Shikamaru. "I can't leave without saying it, but I am not able to." She said.

Shikamaru nodded. He knew what she wanted to say and that she meant it fully. But that word was… different for her.

"Goddamn it." Temari cursed. "I don't hate you. I feel the opposite of hate when I think of you."

Shikamaru smiled.

"Same." he said before leaning down and kissing her.

"Awwwwwwww." Ino and Sakura said together, with their hands pressed against their chest. "Too freaking cute."

They continued to fawn over the odd couple.

A random bystander walked by the two females and coughed what sounded like "Forever alone."

Sakura and Ino whipped their heads towards the receding figure.

"Did he just –"

"Forever alone my perfectly sculpted ass cheeks!" Ino yelled after the guy.

The two girls looked at each other for a millisecond before darting off as fast as they could. All the while yelling, "Sasuke!"

Shikamaru and Temari looked in the direction the blonde and the pink-haired girls went off to.

"They run pretty damn fast." Temari said.

"True." Shikamaru said as he held onto Temari a little while longer before letting go.

"Well, till next time." Temari said.

"Later."

While Ino and Sakura raced each other to Sasuke they shared the same thought.

_When will 'Opposites Attract 2' come out?_

Inner-Sakura sighed. Maybe they really were forever alone.

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**Hope you guys liked. CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY, "WHEN LIFE FLICKS YOU OFF". You might like it you might hate it, but there is only one chapter so dont decide your feelings yet.**

**Till next chapter.**


	26. A Death and Some Cigarettes

**Part One of a OneShot Trilogy**

Despite how strong-willed she was. Despite her loud mouth, hard punches, and painful kicks. Despite how tough she was or how tough her body was – the scars were proof – Temari died after the baby was born.

Shikamaru had tried to show her their child. He tried to talk with her. But her eyes closed.

"Shikamaru I'm tired. I'll just take a...nap." She had said shakily.

And she was gone. Forever.

And the baby lay in his hands, wailing. Why? Shikamaru should be the one bawling. His wife, his 2nd best-friend, his soul-mate was dead. And it was the child's fault. All her fault.

At this point Shikamaru just wanted to get out of the hospital. He set the baby in the nurse's arms before fulfilling one of the many things he hadn't been able to do for Temari.

"May." He said as he nodded at the bundle of "joy".

"Sir, wait." The nurse said. "Don't you want to learn how to wash your daughter? You can't just leave her here."

Shikamaru ignored her, walked past Temari's brothers and out of the room. He left the hospital. Kankuro and Gaara would take care of May. He couldn't and wouldn't. That child killed Temari. He didn't want anything to do with her.

He promised himself he'd quit. He told himself he wouldn't touch a pack ever again; for Temari's sake and the baby's.

But right now, at this moment, he needed a smoke. And maybe a drink, too.

* * *

**This one is kind of tragic but I think its going to either be a three part or 2 part thing so yeah. I do not know how the procedures go after the baby is out of the mother but I'll pretend that they teach the dad how to wash them.**


	27. Tears and Amendments

**Part Two of a OneShot Trilogy **

Shikamaru was empty. He had no substance. He was like a ghost, everyday he'd float into work sullenly then leave late at night when everyone – including the boss – was gone. On days that he was not working, he destroyed his liver with bottles and bottles of sake. He burned his lungs with packs of cigarettes each day. He emptied his wallet in casinos, only keeping enough money to pay for his house and utilities. His eyes were vacant dark pools of nothingness.

Shikamaru had nothing to live for. And he always blamed it on his daughter because she took everything away when she was born.

But even though he was sickened by the little six years old, he was forced into taking care of her. Her guardians since birth, Kankuro and Gaara, had to leave for a while to attend to duties back in Suna. Shikamaru hadn't understood why they didn't raise her there but they said Temari wanted her to grow up in Konoha. And they would do everything in their power to make sure their sister did not stir in her grave.

Shikamaru stared at the child. She had a scowl upon her face. "You stink."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. This would be a long month.

Weeks passed and Shikamaru was still crossing out the days until Gaara and Kankuro came back. May had annoyed him long enough. Of course now she wasn't doing much as opposed to her first couple of nights in his one bedroom apartment. She had pointed out everything that was wrong with him and everything she didn't like. She told him how bad his apartment was. But now, she was quiet. She barely ever looked him in the eyes and Shikamaru was fine with that. He couldn't even look at her without associating her to the death of his wife.

But one night, when everything was quiet and the two occupants of the apartment were _supposed_ to be sleeping, Shikamaru heard a sniffle. And then more.

He got up from the couch. May had tooken the bedroom. Not that he ever used it anyways. There were too many memories of Temari in there. Shikamaru padded slowly to his room. His alcohol addled mind made his steps to be slow, labored, and heavy. When he reached the door, he opened it just a bit and saw May clutching a frame to her chest. Shikamaru instantly knew that it was a picture of Temari grinning radiantly.

"Mommy, I'm so sorry. Kanky and Gaga tell me it's not my fault. But I'm sorry for making you die. I didn't mean to. And Papa hates me for it. I'm sorry to him, too." May sniffed, she was trying to hold back tears. "Gaga and Kanky tell me that crying is weak and you and them hated it. But it was okay to cry if I was alone. So is it okay now Mommy? Please can it be okay, Mommy? Please? Because I…I…I."

A flood of tears fell from May's eyes. She fell to her side, gasping, choking, and sobbing. She cried in that same ungraceful way as Temari had.

The words '_and papa hates me for it' _resounded through Shikamaru's head. He was awful, wicked, downright _horrible._ All these years he was hating his daughter, he was distancing himself from her, he _abandoned _her. And May was sorry to him for something that was out of her control? He should be the one on his knees begging for forgiveness. Shikamaru felt so _stupid. _No, he _was _stupid. He had thought he was the only one hurting. But he wasn't. His friends – that were also Temari's – were, his parents were, Temari's brothers, and May, his own daughter was hurting more than any of them _combined_.

Why couldn't he see that? Why _wouldn't _he see that. He was too blinded by his grief. Temari would have been ashamed. She would have given him a good thrashing.

Tears stung at the corner of Shikamaru's eyes and soon he too was sobbing. He ran into the room and scooped May up. He wiped her tears away and kissed her cheek. He sang her songs and rocked her to sleep. He would make amends and make up for the six years he lost grieving. And he would love May and be the father he hadn't and should've been.

For the next few weeks Shikamaru spent every hour with May. He laughed with her and played with her. He made sure she was tooken care of. Gaara and Kankuro came back and cried tears of joy. Temari wouldn't be restless in her grave anymore.

Shikamaru was happier than he'd ever been since Temari's death. May was just like her. She was blunt and crude. She could make you feel terrible with a cluck of her tongue and she had a wondrous smirk just like Temari's. Her hair was brown – the blonde darkened by Shikamaru's genes – but she had piercing teal eyes. He had stopped smoking, drinking, and gambling, all for the sake of May. Shikamaru loved spending time with her and he was a doting father. She was his princess and he was a very happy king.

That is, until she fell sick.

Shikamaru could already feel his new world crumbling around him.

* * *

**Hope you liked and if you see any errors in May's little speech ignore them. I was trying to make her sound more like the six year old she is so...yeah.**


	28. A Happy Beginning

**Part 3 (and final part) of a OneShot Trilogy**

May had a fever of a 100 and it just kept rising. Shikamaru and Temari's brothers were hoping, praying, and wishing it would break. May was restricted to her bed, breathing was a task for her, and she had fainted on many occasions.

May was moved to the hospital when fever went above 103.

She smiled whenever Shikamaru came to visit, which was every day. Her skin was pail and she looked as frail as paper blowing in the wind.

When she'd fall asleep, Shikamaru would rest his head on her bed and beg for her to be alright. He begged for her to stay with him.

On that faithful day, May's fever was 110 and Shikamaru was holding her hand.

"Daddy…I'm glad you…love me….and I…love…too."

And she was gone. Her hand went limp in Shikamaru's and she sunk back into her pillows.

Shikamaru sobbed and once again, he became and empty shell.

He truly had nothing to live for anymore. If he could get one wish, it would be to go back. Back to the hospital where Temari lay in her bed. He'd wish he could change it and be the family they had dreamed to be.

Shikamaru opened his eyes. Wailing filled the air. The baby was in his arms and Temari's eyes closed shut.

"TEMARI! TEMARI!" He yelled. "Don't leave me! Please! I love you so don't go."

Shikamaru bowed his head. He was too late.

"Shut it lazy-ass." Temari murmured. "I'm not dead and I sure as hell won't be dying soon so you can shut up."

Shikamaru started to cry. She was alive and she was _there. _Lying right next to him on the hospital bed.

"Crybaby." Temari chuckled. "Give me May."

Shikamaru handed her the baby that was in his arms. She rocked May back and forth and sang to her.

Shikamaru isn't too sure whether it was a vision or a dream but he saw it and it felt real. He was given a wish at the end and it came true. His second chance was here and he wasn't going to screw it up.

What he felt now was pure happiness. A raw, uncensored kind of happiness.

He absolutely giddy because the something he had to live for was here.

And now he had a second thing.

He joined Temari in singing the song to May.

His happy beginning was here.

* * *

**Im not so sure about this one. CAN ANYONEGUESS WHAT THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS TRILOGY WAS. IT STARTS WITH A 'C'. all caps so you can notice. Anyways this is the end. Since May was sick she couldnt say the 'you' part in I love you.**


	29. Just a Wee-Bit Corny

Temari lay on her bed, trying to sleep and forget about the recent argument about the custody of her and her brothers. Greedy relatives were pleading to social workers to take care of the young and extremely loaded children of the ex-CEO of Sabaku Corps.

Temari was eighteen, still a senior, but still eighteen nonetheless. She could take care of her two brothers.

But now, at that moment, she wanted to leave the arguments behind and enjoy her youth. What better place to let loose than the party blaring loudly over in the next block?

Temari got off her bed, put on her most expensive t-shirt, sexiest jeans, and a beautiful pair Steve Madden boots before walking downstairs, ignoring her brothers who asked half-heartedly where she was going, and opened the door, stepping out into the fresh night air.

* * *

The party, as Temari had known, was loud – deafening loud. Gargantuan speakers were set up by the open door so that music would hit (and probably rupture) any guest's eardrums.

Temari winced upon entering. The music was good, the kind you would dance to. The kind where you could lose yourself in amazing or spastic movements and no one would judge you on your moves but jump around crazily like you were. Temari began subconsciously tapping her foot.

* * *

Temari danced. And jumped and jived, grooved, and whatever. She just moved to the music. Her dance could have been an awesome combination of hand flicks and foot taps and kicks. Or a spasm of limbs somehow conforming to the beat and the bass of whatever was playing.

And all around her there were people moving as well. Some with partners, some without; some with groups, some with inanimate objects. All dancing and grinding to the beat.

When Temari felt that she had forgotten enough, she made her way to the door. And there, at the door, was a guy with a spiky pony-tail in a red tucked-in, polo shirt wearing a goofy looking blue and red tennis cap. He was holding flat boxes upon boxes upon boxes.

He handed Temari all...10, she counted, boxes of what smelled like pizza. Her hands almost gave out from the weight.

"That'll be 200. There's more in the car." He drawled in a monotonous tone.

"I-I-I…" Temari stuttered looking around for the owner of the house.

Two guys came from behind her and one took the ten boxes of pizza while the other went out to the car. One more guy came and handed money to the pizza man (who left promptly) before slinging his arm around Temari's shoulder and giving her a sly grin.

"You look bored." He said.

"I was just leaving." Temari replied trying to shift away from his arm.

The guy ignored her comment. "No one gets bored at my parties; I will not stand for it."

"Then sit." Temari said rolling her eyes

"Witty aren't we?" He said before his grin became a blinding, dazzling white. "Come hang with us."

And Temari was whisked off back into the party.

And his arm still remained, slung over her shoulder.

* * *

The guy took her to the basement. There were other people there, but not as much as upstairs. The bass could be felt and the music could even be heard from down there, though it was not as loud and eardrum-popping as it was above.

"Here you go."

Temari looked up from her hands to see a plastic red cup. Holding the cup was a hand that belonged to the person who took her down to her current location.

"It's beer." He said.

"I don't drink much." Temari said looking straight into his eyes.

"C'mon. It's a party. Loosen up and have some fun. Dancing isn't always enough."

Temari sighs. He was right. She could already feel the highlights of tonight's argument infiltrating her mind. And she knew, firsthand, that alcohol really does make problems go away for the moment, or at least till you sober up.

Temari grabbed the cup, gingerly took a sip before downing it all, and thrusting the cup into the guy who had an '_alright' _expression dancing on his lips.

"More." Temari said, shaking the cup to emphasize.

"Good." The guy grinned flashing the pearliest whites Temari had ever seen.

He flung his arm around her shoulder once again as he ushered her to the kegs.

* * *

Temari stumbled through the streets. Feeling for buildings and gripping onto rails. She steadied herself as she fumbled. Her vision was swimming and nothing wanted to stay still. And what added more difficulty to her sight and stability was that she was crying.

She knew she shouldn't have taken the drink.

She had known she shouldn't have followed the guy upstairs to the bedrooms and let him take something that was hers and truly hers. Something she couldn't share with anyone or argue with anybody on who should get it.

Something that she shouldn't have been so careless with and given away.

She didn't and doesn't even know his name.

The tears came in a heavier flow. Her mind was racing and she got off the wall and began speeding home. And while she thought she was walking in a straight enough line, to the outside world she was wobbly and leaning from side to side. Because no matter how much tears were pouring from her eyes, she was still drunk.

And drunkards tend to run into people.

"Whoa there!" the person said. Despite being surprised, his voice was in one-tone. And despite not even having a decent conversation with him, Temari recognized him.

"P-pizza guy." She said before she started to really let it all out.

"Why the tears?" He asked, emotion finally seeping into his voice.

"Because I'm drunk." Temari said.

Then the pizza guy did an outrageous and unfathomable thing.

He laughed.

_Laughed._

Temari instantly wished she was coherent and that her balance wasn't shaky so he could hit this guy and insult him.

But before she could say something that would've come out slurred, Temari felt herself being carried.

"Name's Shikamaru." He said while holding her gaze. Something about his brown eyes told her she could trust him.

"Temari." She said before resting her head against his chest.

It was warm.

And after he took her home, explained to her brothers, gave into her insisting that he should stay the night, and stayed up all night talking and arguing with her, Temari knew.

She couldn't explain how but she just knew that he was the one, as corny as that sounded.

And guess what?

She has no problem with that.

* * *

**Hey its been awhile. Well, I at least think its been awhile. Ive been so innactive and blocked. But I looked through my journal found this. I really liked the idea but it needed some serious revision and editing. It also needed to be changed to third person. It wasn't as impacting? - good? - in first so I needed to change that before it was update worthy. **

**UPDATED THE CHAP BECAUSE KP (A GUEST, COULDNT PM U) POINTED SOMETHING OUT TO ME. FIXED IT SO YEAH. ****IF THE LAST BIT IS OOC, TELL ME!**

_**Hey I just met you **_

_**and this is crazy, **_

_**but here's my story, **_

_**review it maybe.**_


	30. Only He Would

Sunagakure had found out, too late, that Sayagi Kumo was not the mastermind behind a terrorist plot. And only after issuing the assasination mission and having their ninja execute it perfectly did they find out they were wrong about the target. And after learning that she killed the wrong man, Temari was left crushed.

He was innocent. He did nothing except fit the description of a middle-aged accountant – info that was leaked to Suna's officials. And Kumo had begged for mercy. But _she _had silenced him. _She _used the weapon that ended his life. Not Suna. And even though _they_ had handed this NQK mission to Temari, she was feeling the guiltiest.

"It's not your fault." Shikamaru said, trying to comfort her. "You were just doing your job."

His efforts were in vain.

"Whatever." Temari said.

Shikamaru sighed. "Troubleso-"

"Can you not?"

The genius knelt in front of her and removed her hands from her face before looking her straight in the eye.

"Get over it." He said.

Temari's eyebrows furrowed. "Get over it? How can you say that?! You didn't just take out an innocent man! You didn't hear his pleas or screams! You didn't have blood on your hands! What if he had a family, a fiancé, a kid?! What if his wedding was the next freaking day?! He was in his thirties, for god's sake! There was so much he could've done with his life! And _I_ snuffed it out! So how can you tell me to get over it? You are _such_ a selfish bastard Shikamaru! A jackass! A jerk! You are a pig, a dumbass, a prick, an asshole! Next time something crushes you like, I dunno, ME LEAVING YOU, I'll just be like 'Cry me a freaking river, build a bridge, and GET THE FUCK OVER IT!'"

Temari's face was red, her eyes watery, and she was breathing hard. But a weight was lifted from her shoulders and she could feel the grasp on her heart loosening. She felt better, relieved.

Shikamaru smirked and Temari knelt to the floor with him and wrapped her arms around his neck as his went around her waist.

"Only you would let your girlfriend yell at you, insult you, and threaten to leave you so she could feel better."

Shikamaru chuckled. "I'm sorry you felt so bad."

Temari smiled. "You know I love you, right?"

"I know."

* * *

**NQK: No Question Kill (Heard it from Psych. I think it was called NQK. Cant be sure, unless i go back to that episode)**

**Hope you liked! **

**#REVIEW#REVIEW #REVIEW #REVIEW #REVIEW**


	31. Can you see it?

"Go. Away." Temari said angrily.

"No."

"Leave."

"_No."_

_"Leave."_

"I said no, goddamn it!"

"Well I said go away!" Temari yelled back at Shikamaru.

"But why?" Shikamaru asked.

"You _kissed_ me."

"So?"

"In front of everyone! In front of _him!"_ Temari screeched.

"But you don't even like him!" Shikamaru replied getting annoyed.

"But he liked me!"

"Come _on_, Temari. He just wanted to get inside your pants."

"So you're saying," Temari started, "That the only way a guy could like me is because they want to do me."

"NO! That's not it!" Shikamaru said, before she could yell again. "He just wasn't a good choice for you."

Temari crossed her arms. "And who the hell are you to decide that? You can't just decide who's good for me. You don't even _know_ who's good for me or not!"

"_I'm _good for you!" Shikamaru shouted.

Utter silence. If a pin was dropped, the sharp sound of it hitting the ground would've been heard loud and clear.

They stared each other down. Temari had no intention of looking away and neither did Shikamaru.

"You had your chance." She hissed.

"And I screwed it up. I know. But people change, Temari. Just give me a second chance."

"I don't give second chances."

Shikamaru did the only thing he could think of. It was illogical, irrational, not well thought out, and there was a high chance it wouldn't work. But he had to do it. He had to make her see and he couldn't do it with words.

So he kissed her. For the second time that day.

Temari tried pushing him away, but he caught her wrists and eventually she stopped fighting. She was going to wait it out. When he pulled away she would smack him, scream at him, anything to make him know that she didn't want him anywhere near her. But Shikamaru was not going to have that. His lips were going to stay on hers until she relaxed and kissed him back.

And soon enough, without even realizing, Temari's shoulders dropped, her eyelids drooped close, and she was responding to the kiss.

She parted her mouth and gave him entrance. Soft and sweet, intense and ferocious. She felt as if electricity was pouring through her veins. And she liked it. She freaking _loved_ it.

After a minute or two, Shikamaru pulled away. "Do you see it now?"

"Just shut up and do that again." Temari said as she pulled him back towards her mouth.

She definately saw it.


	32. GossipGirl

**Spotted. **

**Suna Heiress walking down the aisle. Of a super mart that is. But who is that with her? Uh-oh, not her fiancé. Some could say this pineapple-haired man is just someone who's showing her the way to the dairy section. But then why is our favorite Sunese Goddess holding this 'Unknowns' hand? And where is her very rich and very handsome fiancé, Hidan? Trouble in Paradise, already? Watch out T, a storm is coming and you might want to grab your raincoat and umbrella. **

"Are you sure it's safe?" Shikamaru asked for the umpteenth time.

"_Yes."_ Temari said in exasperation. "Nobody knows me here, so everything's alright."

"Bu-"

Temari silenced him with a kiss. "Hidan wouldn't ever come here. It's too low class for his taste and no one would expect me to be in some super-mart. Even the salt we have is imported."

Shikamaru shook his head. "Rich people."

Temari laughed. "Whatever."

After buying milk, eggs, and bread, they left the Super-Mart still holding hands.

Back in Shikamaru's small one bedroom apartment, Shikamaru asked her the same question he asks her a million times.

"Why don't you back out of the engagement?" he asked.

"Its business. I was told to accept the proposal, so I did." Temari said.

"But what do you want?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does matter." Shikamaru said with his arms crossed. "Next week, Temari. You're getting married in a week. Where does that leave me, huh? _This_"- Shikamaru gestured to them both – "Wasn't supposed to go on for this long. The minute you said yes to Hidan, you should've broken things off with me!"

"I tried I came back her those months ago, it was to end things. But you didn't make that easy!"

"All I said was 'Temari' and then you were all over me!" Shikamaru said trying to defend himself.

"It's not my fault that your voice had that effect on me!" Temari took a deep breath. "Look, I just love you okay. I came to break it off, to stop it. But I couldn't. You could've said anything but nothing would've changed. We would've ended up here anyways."

"Then stop the marriage."

"I can't."

Shikamaru sighed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"Troublesome." he said before kissing her again, longer this time and more urgent. He only had two more days with Temari before she had to go back and get ready for her wedding so he might as well enjoy it.

The couple found their way to the bedroom and shut the door.

* * *

**Spotted.**

**Hidan, the handsome devil, was seen getting into his limo with a briefcase in hand. Where could he be going? There is only a week until the big day and he must have things to do. Or is he going to bring his wife-to-be from her "Spa trip"? And what is in that briefcase? Could it be clothing or something more…dangerous? T's unknown boy toy has been verified as Shikamaru by a very trustworthy source.** **Be careful S, when you mess with the bull you get the horns. And whatever is in that briefcase.**

Hidan rubbed his temples. "That little _whore."_

When he saw the picture of her in that store with_ that_ man, he knew. He knew that his bride was playing floozy for him. Before he proposed to Temari, a background check was customary, just a simple precaution. And what he found was Shikamaru, with whom Temari was romantically involved. Hidan knew she would say yes when he popped the question even though they were not together prior. It was a business deal between his company and her father's. A marriage would join the companies, making Hidan Enterprises and Sabaku Corporations number one in the business world.

But Temari would need to stop whatever it was she had with Shikamaru. Which she agreed to do when Hidan asked after he had placed the ring on her finger.

When she came back from her trip to Konoha, she told him that it was over. Hidan didn't imagine that in the past six months that they were planning the wedding, Temari's little "visiting friends", "furniture shopping", and "spa trips" and whatever were all fronts for her to whore around with her supposedly ex-boyfriend.

"What a fucking tramp!" Hidan yelled.

"Sir, can you refrain from insulting your wife with such profanities?" The chauffer asked, not wanting to hear the vulgarity.

"Shut the fuck up, or you lose your job. And as I recall, you have a sick wife and three kids to feed."

The driver immediately stopped talking and took Hidan to the airport.

By plane, the three day trip to Konoha took less than twelve hours. When Hidan got there he got straight to business. He found out Shikamaru's whereabouts and daily routine in a matter of minutes.

The next day, he went straight to Shikamaru's apartment – briefcase in hand – and knocked on the door.

"Wait a sec." Hidan heard someone yell before the door opened.

"What is – Hidan?"

"Even lowlife's know me. How flattering." Hidan said bitterly before entering Shikamaru's home.

"What are you doi-"

Hidan cut him off. "Where's Temari."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shikamaru said.

"Don't play dumb with me! Everyone saw the picture of you and Temari holding hands in that crappy little grocery store!" Hidan yelled.

Shikamaru's jaw was clenched as he weighed his options. He soon let out a sigh before speaking. "She's out. She'll be coming back though."

"Good. I want her to come here and see you gone."

"Gone?"

"Yes." Hidan said as he set the briefcase down on a table. He clicked it open and Shikamaru's eyes widened.

Money was in there and lots of it. Rows and stacks of thousand dollar bills!

"There's about 450 grand in here, maybe more. Take it and go. Do _not _come back." Hidan said.

"What makes you think, I'll be bought like this?" Shikamaru asked, showing defiance.

"Because humans are easily corrupted. Our characters are easily swayed."

"Well, I won't accept your money. I'm staying here, in Konoha."

"I have men who will be more than happy to rough you up a bit." Hidan said, resorting to threats.

"Let them come." Shikamaru replied.

"I can destroy you, you know. I can make everyone you know and even those you don't hate you with a simple call to the press. No job offers will come your way and I can get you evicted. Do you want that?"

"I don't care what you do."

Hidan thought about this before a slow evil looking smile spread across his face. "But you care what I do to Temari."

Shikamaru froze.

"Once we're married she's mine. I can do whatever I want with her."

"Like what?"

"When you own a company, you need someone to pass it down to. All Temari has to do is give me a child, and she doesn't have to be willing."

Shikamaru knew what he meant.

"You would do that to her? You would do that to your own wife?"

"Why not? When she comes back from this so called "spa trip", I'll have to teach her a lesson." Hidan made his message clearer by cracking his knuckles.

"You're sick." Shikamaru said.

"You can prevent all this, you know. All you need to do is take the money and go."

Hidan knew he had won. He no longer needed to stay to make sure his plan had worked. He _knew_ it worked. Shikamaru would leave Temari for her sake.

"What a stupid man." Hidan said once he was in the hotel. He packed his things and got into the limo that was sent for him. "I would never do that for a simple woman. And she's a skank."

The new driver's mouth was pressed into a thin line. He knew what would happen if he crossed Hidan, so he kept his mouth shut as his passenger laughed to himself with a smug, evil grin.

* * *

When Temari got back to Shikamaru's apartment she called his name. No answer. Again, she called him. No answer. She went to his room and found that all his clothes and most of his items were gone. On the bed there was an envelope.

Temari sat down on the springy mattress and ripped it open.

_Temari, _

_Forget about me. Marry Hidan, for your own good._

_-Shikamaru _

"He left?" Temari asked herself.

She tried calling him. _"This line has been disconnected. If you-"_

"He's really gone." Temari could feel tears, but she did not let them drop. "Bastard."

She packed her things and left. It was time to return to Suna anyway, where she would completely bury herself in the wedding planning. If Shikamaru wanted her to marry Hidan, she would. He apparently thought it was best for her.

**Spotted.**

**Pineapple-hair in front of an airport. What could he be doing there when just two days ago, he was with T? Is there anything you'd like to tell us, S? Did something cause you to take a spontaneous trip to the Bahamas for some beach fun or are you just skipping town? And what, S, are you doing with ****_Hidan's _****briefcase in your hand.**

**The wedding is on and in sea of white, T is in the middle of a fierce tug-of-war contest and H seems to have the advantage. While we sit back and watch who is declared the winner. And I love watching this game with you, so pass the roasted peanuts and let's enjoy. **

**You know you love me.  
XOXO  
GossipGirl**

* * *

**A/N BELOW. I ASKED AN IMPORTANT QUESTION ABOUT THE CONTINUATION OF THIS CHAPTER SO READ IT! **

* * *

**A little gossip girl crossover. I dont own gossip girl. What do you think, should I make this a OneShot Trilogy? Yes? No? And did you think I got the gossip girl parts right. I didn't know if I got her sarcasm and witty comments right but what do you think?**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	33. GossipGirl:The Wedding

**The wedding is five days away. And in those five days, we will see who won the battle, H or S. Right now, the ball is in Hidan's court and it looks like a forfeit on Shikamaru's part. It seems that T is silently cheering for S from the sidelines. Five days seems like such a long time to see how this face-off ends.**

Temari needed a drink and she needed it fast.

Everything was going wrong. Wrong! Why? Because the wedding plans were going right! Nothing was stopping them and after Temari came back, she had tried to sabotage them on many occasions. She messed with orders, killed the flowers, went as far as to rip her own dress.

But everyone was one step ahead of her. A back-up dress was presented to Temari. The wedding planner said that it would be more impressive if they picked new flowers from a nearby meadow. And she made do with the wonky orders, turning them into something fantastic.

She truly was the best money can buy. And Temari hated it.

"Where is my drink?" Temari demanded even though she hadn't asked for it in the first place.

A maid hurriedly poured her a glass of wine.

It didn't calm Temari down one bit.

She put the glass down and went to her room. There, she picked up the phone and dialed Shikamaru's number.

_"This line ha-"_

"Bastard!" Temari yelled as she threw her phone down onto her mattress.

Temari pulled out her laptop and tried emailing him.

_This account has been deleted. In order to reach this recipient, call this number._

"I already have." Temari seethed.

Nothing was going her way, absolutely nothing. But she couldn't help but hope that Shikamaru had some master plan up his sleeve.

* * *

**Spotted.**

**The "happy" couple was seen walking into David's Bridals. Look at the smile on T's face. It looks about as fake as Dolly Parton's boobs. Now, I'm not a biased blogger, and I don't pick sides, but wouldn't you say that T looked a lot happier next to S. This wedding might be a bust, but with the way H is holding her hand, it doesn't look like he's going to let her go. I think his grip is cutting of the circulation in her fingers. Or is that just Temari's natural shade of purple?**

Shikamaru sighed once more. He closed the laptop, sat back in his chair, and rubbed his temples.

He arrived in a city before taking a cab to a small little rice town in the middle of nowhere. He easily found an inn. No one recognized him, not that he was famous in the first place. But this tiny town didn't know anything about Temari and Hidan. Which meant they didn't know anything about him.

But that didn't stop Shikamaru from thinking about the wedding.

It had been four days since he had left and all his time was invested in brainstorming ways to stop the wedding, which was in three days.

His deadline was in _three. freaking. days. _

And Shikamaru did not know how to meet it.

* * *

She had been given away, and now, Temari stood next to Hidan facing the pastor.

Where was Shikamaru? The speech had started and it slowly progressed to the halfway point. But where was Shikamaru? Didn't he have a plan? Surely he had a plan. He wasn't _that _lazy. This situation was too serious for the both of them. He couldn't ignore it. Could he?

Or maybe he didn't care.

Temari almost died at that thought. What if he was done with her? With everything?

"Do you, Hidan, take Temari to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

It was her part and still no sight of the pineapple hair-do.

"Do you, Temari, take Hidan to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Temari cleared her throat. "Well, I… I…"

Temari was waiting to hear the door burst open. Waiting for Shikamaru to object, to stop her.

"I... I..."

The wedding was riding on her shoulders.

But Temari decided to stall.

"I, Temari, take Hidan to be my husband?" She asked it as if she didn't hear the pastor right the first time.

He nodded with an incredulous eyebrow twitch.

"Oh. Okay. Well, I..." – no Shikamaru in sight. He wasn't here and he wasn't coming – "I do."

"You may now kiss the bride."

**Well, folks, the wedding is over. Can someone say anticlimactic? But what we've all been patiently waiting for is the results of this year's Husband Games. Drumroll please and que the trumpets. Hidan won. Sorry S, and sorry T. But he won fair and square.**

**Game.  
Set.  
Match.**

**Or is it?**

**You know you love me.  
XOXO  
GossipGirl**

* * *

**did you like? REVIEW THE FREAKING CHAPTER PLEASE!**

**edited* So many mistakes.**


	34. GossipGirl: The Baby

**It feels like such a long time. Well take this as my christmas gift to you. Sorry it couldn't be given earlier.**

**Remember that little message on the top of my last chapter? Yeah, I was just mad. I hope people weren't too offended, and I know I sounded like a mega-bitch but I just want you to review. **

* * *

**Spotted.**

**The newlywed couple was seen entering their new, lavish penthouse. After 1 month of no pictures due to their honeymoon on a privately owned and ****_very _****secure island, I am ready to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. Here's a recap from the last time I got down and dirty with the elites lives. A showdown went on between Hidan and Temari's ex-lover, Shikamaru. Hidan came out on top. Temari didn't seem too happy but now, in this picture, her smile looks radiant and sincere as she looks down at her hand, which was caught, mid-rub, on her slight, barely-there stomach bump. I have a question, T. Do you think it's too early for cradle shopping?**

Temari shut her laptop. The blog pretty much said she was pregnant. It was right of course, but Temari was supposed to keep it a secret from the outside world until the bump was really showing.

By the way her husbands hands were linked with hers in the photo; it made it look like Hidan was the father. He was not.

But he didn't know that.

"You saw the blog?"

Temari turned to see her husband leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and furrowed brow.

_Speak of the devil._

Temari nodded.

_Here comes the lecture._

"You should have been more careful. I don't know why you decided to look down at your stomach and _rub _it. That screams pregnancy. I'll take care of the rumors. I don't think it'll do, but I'll say you put on a little weight or something. Damn Temari, be more careful. We don't want too much publicity for little Hidan Jr. before he's even born yet."

"Yeah. Got it. I'll go out and buy some healthy foods so the weight claim will look more convincing."

Hidan nodded and walked over to her and held her around the waist. "I'm going to work. Stay put." He kissed her softly before walking out the door.

Temari looked at the closed door before wiping her lips.

The kid wasn't his. He thought it was, though. He thought it was conceived on the first, second, or third night of their honeymoon. Temari would go tour the island and all its attractions before getting him drunk. And he'd pass out. Just like that. He had no tolerance for alcohol whatsoever.

Then Temari would strip them both, mess up her hair, and crawl into bed to make it look like something happened when he woke up in the morning.

And on the fourth night when he refused to drink and she almost had to do what she swore she'd never do, nausea hit. Two positive and one negative pregnancy test later, and it was confirmed the she had a life inside her, which pretty much ruined the honeymoon.

But they stayed one month anyway. Because what would the public think, Hidan had said.

But the child wasn't his. It was Shikamaru's, conceived in his little apartment on the kitchen table.

Temari tried to contact him, hoping that maybe it would give him enough motivation to get his shit together and help her. But all she got was the all too familiar 'This line has been disconnected'.

Temari sighed. She had no idea what she was going to do when the baby popped out with black hair and lazy eyes.

A wave of nausea crashed through her body and she knew it was morning sickness calling. Again.

When the toilet was flushed and she had brushed her teeth and gotten that god awful taste out of her mouth, Temari looked down at her stomach and patted it, as if to comfort the little guy – or girl – forming inside.

Temari sighed once more. "Like hell I'm naming you Hidan Jr."

* * *

Shikamaru saw the picture and swore before closing the laptop with enough force to shatter the screen.

It did.

"C'mon. That's the second one." Katsuro whined.

"I'll buy another one." Shikamaru said before lighting a cigarette.

Shikamaru had gotten some allies. He didn't have enough information to bring down Hidan before or during the wedding. Not nearly enough. And he still doesn't.

But when he relocated to a new city, he managed to get some help for his cause.

Katsuro and his wife, Ayumi, joined because there son had worked for Hidan but died on the job. They received one thousand dollars in compensation. But Hidan's parting words were, "I was going to fire him anyway."

There were the sisters: Mika and Shiori. They both worked for Hidan Enterprises. Mika was the vice president of one of the branches while Shiori was her assistant. They resigned because of what the company was involved with and now, they were using that info to help Shikamaru, who was now onto his third cigarette.

"Stop it, will you." Ayumi said. "You'll destroy your lungs."

"I can't stop. Did you see the picture?"

Ayumi nodded.

"Pregnant. She's fucking pregnant with that jerks baby. She couldn't wait. It was just one month. She was never a patient person but why would she go and do _this_."

"Maybe it's not his." Shiori said.

"So she just went and slept with someone else. That makes it all better." Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"No you dumbass, she means that _you're_ the father." Miko said.

"What?"

"You guys got busy on her last visit to your house, right? And that was only like a week or two before the honeymoon. There's a huge possibility of the baby being yours." Katsuro said.

Shikamaru felt himself calm down a bit. "You really think so?"

"Yes." Ayumi said. "Now what are you going to do about that broken laptop?"

"I'll just head to an electronics store and buy a new one." Shikamaru said.

Shiori shook her head. "I wish I could have 30,000 dollars lying around."

Shikamaru smirked before grabbing the briefcase he had received from Hidan.

With the 55 grand, he rented a nice, two-story office building for him and his crew, furnished it, bought high-grade computers and sturdy file cabinets.

Shikamaru thought it was ironic that he only used the money he got from Hidan to take him down.

After buying himself a new laptop and putting information from his old one into it, he got to work.

Proof needed to be gathered and he'd be damned if every corner, nook, or cranny was left unchecked.

* * *

**Spotted.**

**Temari was seen at a Whole Foods buying veggies and fruits. Could this be a diet regimen that Temari has started to lose that weight she gained? And if this is a new diet plan, then why do I spy with my little eye a new picture of our ex-bachelorette pigging out on some Chicken McNuggets, a Big Mac, a milkshake, and two large, sodium riddled fries. You're sending us mixed signals, T. Is it an apple a day to keep the doctor away or a McDonald's feast to kill the Craving's Beast?**

"You're even more careless than I thought!" Hidan yelled.

"You bought vegetables and fruits but instead of going straight home, you go to an in-store McDonalds!"

"I got hungry."

"Then why didn't you eat one of the fruits!"

"Because I didn't _want _fruit!" Temari yelled.

"Where are the vegetables even?"

Temari groaned in realization. She left them in the car.

"See? You couldn't even bring them out! Someone could have tooken a picture of you leaving your car _without _the healthy food!"

"I'll just go back and get them!"

"It's been _hours_ since you came home! Can you be anymore stupid? You keep fucking up again and again! We're trying to keep your pregnancy a secret! But it's like you're trying to let it be known. Stop being a freaking dumbass!"

Temari exploded. "I'm pregnant. It's what pregnant people do. They eat and they crave. Can you cut me some fucking slack?! I don't care if it's known. Anyone and everyone can know. It doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does!"

"Shikamaru wouldn't be like this! _He_ wouldn't make such a big deal out of this! Shikamaru would be too lazy to stop me from eating wherever the hell I want! Shikamaru wouldn't force me to do what I don't want to! If it were Shikamaru, this argument would be done and I would've won! Shikama-"

A hand darted out and Temari was looking to her right. Her cheek began to sting.

She faced Hidan in disbelief."You just-"

"Do _not _ever say that name in my presence. And from this day forward, you are prohibited from leaving this house. Doctors will come _here. _Physical trainers will come _here. _Dietitians will come _here._ _You_ will stay _here._"

Hidan turned and went to their room and shut the door with a silent click. Temari went to one of the guest rooms. She would be sleeping there but she didn't mind.

She lay on her back, absent-mindedly poking, prodding, and massaging her cheek.

"He really did slap me."

Temari tsked before turning on her side. She closed her eyes.

Minutes passed before Temari pulled her pillow out from under her head and pressed it to her face.

And she sobbed. Harder than she ever had in months. There were tear stains on the pillow when she pulled it from her face. She threw it at the wall before covering her eyes with her forearm.

Temari cried herself to sleep, one hand over her eyes, the other rested on her stomach, subconsciously protecting her and Shikamaru's baby.

* * *

**Making this have one or two more chapters. Not a One-Shot Trilogy anymore. Did you like? Yes? No?  
I hope it was worth the weight.  
REVIEW**


	35. GossipGirl:The Storm and the After-Math

**Its been a while guys. I've gotten reviews asking me to update and now I have. I was so blocked, you don't even know. I updated my other stories and added a new one so I think the huge-ass mental blockade in my head is leaving. **

**Enjoy. **

* * *

**Spotted.**

**S, our Pineapple Romeo, was seen leaving a cab with suitcases in hand. Oh, H, you better watch yourself because, through this photo, I see a vengeance in Shikamaru's eyes unmatched by any. And after this personal vendetta, S might want – and maybe gain – T. Careful H, too put it simply, shit just got real.**

Temari's closed her phone and almost did a cartwheel.

But she couldn't. As of yesterday, she was officially 6 months pregnant and her movement has been restricted for quite some time.

But the large bump where her once flat stomach was didn't stop her from jumping up and down in excitement.

When she realized what she was doing she stopped abruptly and coughed. But her grin remained.

He was here! Here in Suna! Here for her!

Or at least, she hoped he was here for her. If he wasn't, she would've fallen to the floor and died but not before she took him with her.

"What's the problem?"

Temari turned to see Hidan standing in the doorway of their room. He had gone on a business trip to Kumo and now he was back. In her excitement, she didn't even notice him open the door.

"Huh?"

"You were dancing just now. Why?"

"Uh…nothing. Just the joy of pregnancy."

He stared at her blankly. "Give me the phone."

"No."

"Give it to me."

"No!" Temari said more forcefully.

"Give me the damn phone."

Temari shook her head.

Hidan was soon in front her and prying the phone out of her hands. He flipped it open and stared at the screen. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth twisted down into a scowl.

"You're to stay here, for now."

"You've already grounded me."

"Fine. Then you'll be following me everywhere. I have a meeting in the next hour. Your coming."

He and left.

"Fucking arrogant asshole."

"Heard that, bitch!"

"Great!"

Temari heaved a sigh before sitting down on the bed.

Since pregnancy, Temari was getting testier and testier. She was always angry with Hidan and he only put up with it because he didn't want to endanger the baby.

But he still yelled, for God knows how long, when Temari was being an absolute bitch.

Just because they were married didn't mean Temari had to love him. She was pretty sure he was cheating on her with her Lamaze instructor, her doctor, and the gardener.

Did she care? No, not really.

Did she think it was unfair? Yes.

He gets to screw whomever he wanted and she couldn't even _talk _about Shikamaru?

But she knew why. It was that Shikamaru could take her away from Hidan. She loved him. And that was the difference between the lazy-ass and the females that assist Temari and take care of her lawn.

And the one she truly loves and is – _was – _waiting for is back.

* * *

Shikamaru sighed when he saw the post.

"Gossip girl, you are a _bitch._"

Now that the post was out across the whole fucking nation, Hidan knew he was in Suna.

Which means his guard is up and Shikamaru wouldn't be able to catch him _off _guard.

"Well there goes the surprise." Miko said. "I even had this whole entrance planned. What a fucking waste."

Shiori shook her head. "I was really looking forward to it too. What a shame."

"At least the picture only showed Shikamaru and not us. So we're free to roam around the city and collect more information." Ayumi said.

"Always Mrs. Bright-side, eh?" Katsuro chuckled, wrapping an arm around his wife.

"Always."

"Well, what do we do now?" Shiori asked, stretching. They had all drove to Suna and being cramped up in the car gave her this crick in her neck that didn't go away even after checking into the hotel and setting their stuff down in the room.

"Hidan has a meeting in the next hour. We need to interrupt it." Shikamaru said.

"What? Why don't we just get there before him?"

"Because his audience won't be there and he could easily advise them not to come if he sees us there. So we need to enter in the middle of it. The meeting room will be guarded so we'll need a distraction."

"Leave that to us, Shikamaru." Shiori said. "Which will it be, Miko, the sister bit or the seduction skit? Or perhaps a disturbance – I'm thinking fighting – in the lobby?"

"Well I don't feel like whoring it up so seduction is out. How about we combine the sister bit and the disturbance in the lobby? Can you do crazy and mental?"

"Of course I can."

"Okay we'll let you plan it. When we've gone in the room just follow, okay?"

"Okay." Miko and Shiori said together.

"Katsuro and Ayumi, you'll stick with me. We present the files, tarnish Hidan's name, take down his entire company and business, and leave knowing we completely ruined a man."

"Like a bunch of badasses." Katsuro said.

"Just like that."

Ayumi smiled. "This is going to be great."

* * *

Hidan knew that Shikamaru was in town thanks to that Gossip Girl post that Temari tried to hide from him.

"I would've seen it later, you know." He said to Temari as they sat in the limo.

"Whatever."

He recalled her jumping up and down and practically squealing over the post.

"You still haven't given up on him."

"You still haven't given up on Mary, Yumi, or Mrs. Tsubaki."

Hidan stiffened.

"At least have the decency not to be caught leaving the toolshed with Mrs. Tsubaki. Her husband goes in there, too. He _is _the pool guy."

"I left something in there. I went to retrieve it."

"Sure. That's what it was."

"I don't think I like your tone."

"Really, now."

"Temari don't push me."

"I was hoping I could push you far enough that you'd fall. Off a cliff. But there isn't a one in sight is there."

"Shut up now. I don't want to do anything regrettable."

"And hurt, _Hidan Jr."_ Temari said the name with distaste, she was **not **naming her and Shikamaru's kid that. "I don't think so."

"We have arrived." The driver said.

"Let's go. Don't do anything that could ruin this meeting."

Hidan turned to look at her. He was angry. And he knew she saw it because her lips were pressed together. But still she challenged him, by looking him straight in the eyes.

"I mean it."

They entered the building; his hold on her hand was tight and unyielding. He was making the message clear to Temari. He wasn't going to let her go. He didn't care if she hated him, if he kept on seeing his mistresses; he was going to keep Temari and the money Suna Corporations raked in for him. The power, the recognition, the _everything._ He had it and he wasn't going to give it up because some bitch was still head over heels for the man he wouldn't allow her to have.

* * *

Shikamaru, the couple, and the sisters walked into the building at different times. Shikamaru last, his hair down and in his eyes so he wouldn't be easily recognized.

They met up at a supply closet on the 2nd floor to go over the plan. Then they all went back down to the lobby – on different elevators – where Miko and Shiori were to distract the bodyguards who were standing by the door to the meeting.

"Help!" Miko yelled as she ran to the guards. She looked distraught and frantic. "Have you seen my sister?She looks like me with darker hair."

"No ma'am." The short but ripped – steroids, Miko thought – replied. "Call security."

"No you don't understand! She's mentally ill. She's a danger to herself and others around her! I need people who are strong and experienced to help me. Please! I'm so worried!"

"Calm down." He said.

"I'm trying! But I need to find her. She might be in trouble. Oh, dear God! What if she's on the roof!"

"We'll help you find her." The barely taller and less ripped one – regular workouts, Miko decided – said.

"How about only you just go?" The short one said to the taller one.

"No! I need two people. The last time there was one, it wasn't pretty. Never walked the same way again." Miko said sadly, but still tapping her foot like she was in a hurry and needed assistance right-fucking-now.

"Fine we'll go." The short one relented. "Boss is gonna be mad." He added under his breath.

They looked around for a while until Miko gasped and pointed. "There she is!" she started running. "Don't just stand there. Help!"

Shiori was stumbling around, blinking madly, with a crazy-huge smile on her face. Her hair was in a frenzy and she played with her necklace in a fidgety fashion.

"Kaymi!" Miko shouted.

Shiori turned. "Yumi…what do you…want?" she talked slurred and added unnecessary pauses.

"Just come with me." Miko said slowly. "I don't want to hurt you. Just come over here."

Shiori's smile faded and she cocked her head to the side. "Come…with you?"

"Yes." Miko was trying to wave her over while walking closer. As soon as she was close enough, Shiori grabbed onto her hair and shook.

"NO!" she screamed, as she pulled and pushed Miko by her hair. "NO! NO! NO!"

"Let go, Kaymi! Let go! I want to help you!"

"NO! NOOO! NO!"

By this time Miko was grabbing onto Shiori's hands and trying to kick at her shins. They both fell to the floor.

The guards grabbed onto Shiori and pulled but she kept her hands buried in her sister's hair.

"Ow! Ow! That hurts! It hurts!" Miko's hair was getting pulled to its limits as the guards tried to pry Shiori off of her.

When the guards were thoroughly distracted, Shikamaru, Ayumi, and Katsuro slipped into the meeting.

* * *

"And as you see in these charts, profit will – "

"Shikamaru!" Temari gasped from her chair in a quiet little corner.

The door was swung open as the he, Ayumi, and Katsuro walked in. Shikamaru smirked at Temari when he saw her, hands on her tummy. She smirked back before giving him a full on grin.

"I knew you would come. So what is it?" Hidan said smugly, not knowing what was in store for him.

"I'm here to expose you on fraud, embezzlement, and a Ponzi scheme." Shikamaru said as he pulled his hair back into his trademark ponytail.

The crowd of high up-there business men began discussing among themselves.

"What are you talking about?"

"It all started in the beginning of your company; when you were still just a rookie in the business world."

"You opened up a charity, hoping it would put you in good light with the people. You got donations but instead of giving that money to the people you said would receive it, you took it for yourself." Katsuro continued.

Ayumi was next, putting down files in front of different business men. The ones surrounding them crowded around. "But you couldn't have that charity failing so you needed people to invest more in your company so you could use that money to pay off the charity and have the donations sent to the right people."

"But then you needed to pay back your original investors. So, naturally, you got more." Shiori and Miko said as they entered, smoothing out their hair and clothes.

"After the little stock market crash that happened 5 years after you started your business," Shikamaru continued, "your company became succesful. The product you were selling was exactly what everyone needed. So you got rich and paid back all your investors. Unfortunately, unknown and long ago doesn't stop it from being illegal."

As Shikamaru finished Temari ran towards him, captured him in a hug, and showered him with kisses.

_Fuck dignity,_ she thought. "Oh." She said as she turned to Hidan. "And I'm divorcing your ass."

For about two minutes the group was all happiness and mirth. Katsuro and Ayumi were hugging. Shiori and Miko were jumping up and down in victory. And Shikamaru and Temari were kissing like there was no tomorrow.

And for two minutes, while the business men were wrapped up in files, and the sextet was bubbly, everyone forgot about the seething Hidan.

"WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!"

Everyone stopped.

"This is absurd." He said. "This is a lie. They're obviously lying."

"But it's alright here." One man said. "Bank statements, credit card receipts, everything."

"You can try to leave." Ayumi said. "But we called the police. They're probably outside."

Temari couldn't hold it in any longer. She walked out of the room, saw the squad cars outside, grabbed one random police man, and pulled him back into the room.

"Cuff him. Now."

"I need to Mirandize him first."

"Then hurry up and do it already." Temari ordered, her patience was wearing thin.

Shikamaru watched Temari's demands and smiled. "I've missed you troublesome woman.'

"I have too, lazy bastard. You sure as hell took your sweet time."

"Just getting as much help as I could get."

Temari turned to Miko, Shiori, Katsuro, and Ayumi. "Thank you so much."

* * *

**Spotted.**

**Hidan is seen being led into a police car, sirens blazing, while T and S watch from the side lines. It looks like life will be restricted to bars and walls for H. So S has emerged the true and twice defeated victor. In the words of Keri Hilson, 'when life knocks you down just get back up'. And Shikamaru got back up, saved the damsel in distress, and took back his life. **

"You want to explain that?" Shikamaru said pointing at Temari's stomach.

They were leaving Hidan Enterprises when he asked.

"It's yours."

Shikamaru nodded, thinking.

"You know..."

"Yeah?"

"We should probably get married first. Save the kid from being an illagitament bastard."

"We should, shouldn't we." Temari said as if she was waiting for something more.

Shikamaru groaned. "I'm not getting down on one knee."

"Just wanted to see if you'd try."

"I wouldn't have, troublesome woman."

"I know. Just give me the ring."

Shikamaru pulled it out of his pocket and handed to her.

"You could at least put it on my finger."

"Troublesome."

"If it weren't for the fact that we were just reunited, I would be kicking you."

"And the fact that your pregnant so your movement is limited." Shikamaru stated as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"Don't test me, boy."

"Yes, yes."

"You know what you're doing now? Your testing me."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

Temari's hand fluttered to her stomach.

"So what name did you and Hidan come up with?"

"...Hidan Jr."

"Hmm. How about we don't name him that?"

"My thoughts exactly...but what do we name him?"

"...Details, Temari, details."

* * *

Shikamaru and Temari had a small wedding. And by small, they mean at one of those chapels with the elvis priest.

Quirky but legal.

Shikamaru's helpers in the take down of Hidan all went back to their homes with a sense of fulfilment. Everyone of them still kept in touch.

Two months later and the baby was born. After a brief argument, that was only settled after Temari cursed Shikamaru out so bad that the doctor had to ask him, the father, to leave, the name of the baby was decided.

His name was Shikumo. And _not _Hidan Jr.

Temari and Shikamaru did not live happily ever after.

But they were close enough.

**So now that the dust has settled the image before us is one of utter beauty: A happy couple with a small bundle of joy in the mother's arms. S you one the game, the set, and the match. I'll say it again, I'm not a biased blogger, Shikamaru, but I was always rooting for you.**

**XOXO  
GossipGirl**

* * *

**Shikamaru was twice defeated when he was forced to skip town, and when Temari - his love - got married to another guy. Sorry that I made Hidan the villain.**

**Did you like? Was it anticlimactic? Did it reach your standards? I really hope so. But anyway, I'm back, baby, and I don't want to leave. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the dam has left and my creative juices are flowing like crazy. Expect an update soon. Back to little one-shots for now, guys. I know this was just a four parter but it feels like I just completed a whole ten-chapter story. DAMN ITS BEEN A WHILE.**

**ALSO, I DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT EMBEZZLEMENT, FRAUD AND ALL THAT! SO IF MY LITTLE DESCRIPTION OF IT WAS WRONG I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO INTERNET YELL AT ME ON HOW IT WAS A STUPID DESCRIPTION AND HOW I MIGHT BE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET! **


	36. Steps Ahead of the Reverse Psychologist

It was a cold day. Snow was beginning to stick to the grass and the trees. Birds had flown south for winter. Lakes had frozen over, shops threw out fall clothing, and Shikamaru was hungry.

Very hungry.

And the blonde woman sitting next to him wasn't doing anything when she _should _be in the kitchen making something to ease his growling stomach.

"Woman, can you make something? I'm hungry."

"What do you take me for? A maid? A chef? Just because I happen to have the right organs doesn't mean I'm going to spend the whole day slaving over a hot stove to make you – or _anyone – _food."

"Fine, I'll just make it myself." Shikamaru made his way to his kitchen, sighing.

It was that sigh that made Temari narrow her eyes and stand up.

"You think I can't do it? You think I don't know how? That because I refused means that my hands can't hold a knife correctly, eh? Well, I'll show you. Just because I don't want to doesn't mean I can't."

Temari bustled past him into the kitchen, angrily removing platters, vegetables, pots, pans, meats, and spices.

Shikamaru shrugged and sat down at the table. He rested his head against his palm and soon fell asleep thinking, _Reverse psychology is the best._

It wasn't until Temari gave him a nice smack to the head – to which he said that he'd get brain damage and what would Konoha do without their tactician, and she replied with the sentence, they'd get your father, and to that statement, Shikamaru rolled his eyes and said, not if my mother kills him first – that he noticed a plate of something that looked totally appalling.

And inedible.

Temari set a plate in front of her seat. "That's what you get for using reverse psychology on me, Bastard. And _this_," Temari waved a hand over her dish of what had to have been the best smelling thing Shikamaru's nostrils had sniffed in his entire life, "Is what I get for all my hard I did – actually it was pretty easy."

This made Shikamaru _almost _regret falling asleep instead of watching what she put in the damn pots.

That is, until he had an even better Idea – albeit dangerous – than the reverse psychology one.

Shikamaru quickly used his shadow to bind Temari, made her switch the plates, and he ate the good one while she was forced to eat the nasty one.

Shikamaru finished his food with a satisfied smack of his lips while he stood up. He looked Temari straight in the eye, her tan face a hulk-ish green, before releasing the jutsu and poofing to God knows where.

"I HATE YOU!" Temari yelled this before running to the restroom and heaving. After she brushed her teeth and got that godforsaken taste out of her mouth she smiled.

What Shikamaru didn't know was that Temari snuck laxatives into the good food.

In a matter of minutes, Shikamaru would get a taste of his own medicine and finally realize what it feels like to be a few steps _behind. _

Temari settled down into his sofa while she heard Shikamaru appear in the restroom with an audible '_poof'_.

Oh, she really did love cooking.

* * *

**did you like? No? Yes?**


	37. Absolute Knowledge of the Insecure GF

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. When I wasn't updating, I got a bunch of reviews, When I finally update i get barely anything. _WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?_ You dont realize how happy your reviews make me. I read through all of them and I almost cried. No joke. I love everyone who takes time to read this story but I love you more when you not only take time to read, favorite, and follow but you also review.**

* * *

"So I finally get to meet you!" Ino shrieked happily, shattering anyone in the vicinity's eardrums (including Temari who winced), before giving the Sunan blonde a too tight hug.

When she let go and smiled, Temari frowned.

She would be lying if she wasn't a bit jealous of Ino. She was the perfect girl. Thin with assets and a killer face. She had the hypnotizing hips, the bouncing bazoomas, the long, bright blonde hair, and dazzling blue eyes to go with her pink full lips that were pulled up into a smashing smile.

Temari's frown deepened.

While she knew she was pretty, she felt dull compared to Ino.

And then blonde bombshell squealed before hooking her arm around Shikamaru's, her right boob squished against his arm.

"Oh Shika, she's perfect! How you ever managed to snag a girl like her is beyond me!"

"So is everything else." The genius replied lazily.

"Don't be mean." Ino said while she playfully pinched him.

Temari's scowl deepened even further that onlookers were sure her mouth was going to fall off her face and onto the street.

Ino and Shikamaru looked good together, way too good together. Arm in arm, they looked straight out of a magazine. The 'it' couple everyone would go on about for a long time. The kind of couple that people would stop in the streets to point at while saying, "Honey, why can't we look like _that?"_

"Nice to meet you." Temari said to Ino when in fact, it was _not _nice to meet her. _A__t all._

"I'm not going to lie. At first, I thought you were bat-shit crazy for choosing _him," _Ino nodded at Shikamaru who had his hands shoved in his pockets and an expression on his face that said 'I'd rather be asleep', "But now I see that you guys fit."

Temari was about to say '_More than you two do?', _but stopped herself. "Thank you."

"Well, I'll be off." Ino chirped as she turned away in one smooth movement, swaying hips causing the baker's son to drop the bread, a married man whose eyes had strayed earned a slap, a car ran into the bushes, and a biker crashed into a wall.

"_Damn." _Temari said, she could hear Ino giggling in delight as she reveled in the mayhem that she had caused.

Shikamaru sighed. "That's Ino for you."

"Yeah. Whatever. Let's just get something to eat."

"For all it's worth, I think you're by far the most beautiful." The lazy pineapple said, knowing Temari would feel like a troll compared to his troublesome friend that made everyone painfully aware that she was too hot to handle in that mini-skirt.

Temari looked up at him. "You think I don't know that lazy-ass? I'm fucking sexy. Watch this."

Temari sat down in the nearby bench and crossed her legs. The baker's son, who had finally gotten his bearings together and picked up the bread, dropped them again, a random guy tripped and accidently threw his phone into the sewer, a window cleaner's supplies slipped out of his hands while a scooter smashed into the nearly-spottles, except-for-the-little-corner-on-the-right window, shattering all the cleaner's hard work.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and started walking. Temari grinned as she caught up with him. She hated feeling insecure. She was _Temari_, dammit. But she couldn't help it. And she couldn't help feel relieved when Shikamaru knew, told her what he thought, and didn't take it back when she brushed it off.

He knew her too well for his and her own good. At times, she hated it. But at times, like this one, it made her happy.

* * *

**Did you think it was OOC? I kinda think it was. Tell me, kay. DID you like it? DID you not?**

**Review like there's no tomorrow. Reviews make a happy author. A happy author makes better and faster updates. I'm trying to get at least one chapin a day. Making no promises though.**


	38. Drunken Love

Shikamaru rubbed his temples as he walked through town slower than usual. He had drunk one too many bottles of sake last night. It was a party for Ino and Choji who had just made chunin, and in his attempt to make Ino's voice sound pleasing, he drank, hoping it would make him think his loud, blonde teammate had the voice of an angel or at least, a normal girl.

Stupid of him? Yes. But there was only so many "OMG Sasuke is soooo hot and now that I'm chunin he'll totes wanna tap this!" a man could take. And since Shikamaru considered himself a coward, it wasn't that many. So he thought, 'bottoms up'.

But he had a Hangover moment: He couldn't remember all the details of last night. Granted, it wasn't anywhere near the level of the movie but that didn't aid him in trying to figure out what happened.

Shikamaru remembered stumbling home while simultaneously trying to balance a wasted Ino between Choji and himself and he remembered falling asleep, but something seemed missing. He couldn't put his finger on it, but in between the time he got home and fell asleep, he did something. _Now if only he_ _could remember._

"It probably wasn't anything big." Shikamaru muttered as he gave up on thinking because it hurt and went back to soothing his temples with his fingers.

He was nearing the Hokage building where he was to meet up with Temari who had just walked out, daily agenda in hand.

She's early, Shikamaru thought. "Oi, Troublesome woman." He said when he was close enough to her. "Why were you here early? Never mind, I don't care just tell me what I'm supposed to do woma –"

Temari decked him, bashing her fist against his throbbing temple. It hurt like hell.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR" Shikamaru kind of yelled. (He was still, of course, lazy and yelling didn't seem like a good idea when you were punched in the head _and _hung-over).

"Fuck. You." Temari said, enunciating each word so clearly and sharply that it could have cut straight through glass in an instant.

As she stormed away, Shikamaru took note of the one off thing about her facial features.

Blushing. Something Shikamaru thought was impossible for Temari to do.

* * *

Temari had been bored last night.

It was a Saturday night, and unlike most women in their prime, she wasn't partying or husband-hunting. It was work, Temari decided. Work kept her from having fun. She wasn't a stick in the mud. _I knew how to throw a party back in_ _the day_.

Oh God. She just used the phrase 'back in the day'.

Temari ran to the kitchen pulled out champagne and opened it with a loud pop and took a big gulp straight from the bottle. She wasn't old. She was 22, damn it. She still had men grabbing her ass. She still wore sexy panties. And she was going to have a good time that Saturday night!

Twenty minutes later, Temari was curled up on her armchair, coffee mug in hand, a book in her lap.

It was work, she insisted. She was all tuckered out from all the files and the walking and the training and everything. This was downtime and the next week she was going to a bar, a loud one, and she was going to have way more than a few drinks.

She swears.

When Temari was almost finished with chapter 13, she got a phone call.

"Who fucking calls at 3 am?" But then again, why was _she _even awake?

"Hello?" She picked up the phone and put it to her ear.

Breathing...more breathing...and some more.

"Who's this because this is getting creepy...Like seriously, I'm about to track this phone call, find you, and beat your ass."

"Oh I didn't realize this was working. But Temari? Hello? Hellooo? You there? Temari? Temari? Temari, Temari, Temari, Temari, Tema, Tem, Tem-Tem. Haha, sounds like Ten-Ten...Nine-Nine, Eight-Eight, Seven-Seven, Six-Six, Five-Five, Four-Four, Temari? You there?"

Temari almost dropped the phone. She couldn't believe that _he _was acting stupid. She put the phone on speaker and set it carefully down on the counter.

"Shikamaru? Are you drunk?"

"Yes. No. Maybe a little. Nah, Nah. I'm not drunk at alllllllll. I'm perfected...perfect...perfectly! Yeah, that's it. I'm perfectly fine and not at all drunk."

_Yep, he's drunk off his ass. _"Is there something you want?" Temari asked slowly.

"I just wanted to say that I think that you...you're fucking amazing. Like when I say amazing...I mean amazing-amazing. You've got real nice hair. Its like golden. Like the sun. You are my sunshine~"

_Is he singing?_

"lalalalala~...haha I didn't know the rest. You also have cool eyes. Like blue but not blue. Its like teal. Yeah, teal. They're like the ocean without all that wet stuff and the fishes...and you know what else I like about you...your ass."

Temari raised an eyebrow. Could she really blame him? Her derrière is a force to be reckoned with.

"It's so round and toned and also a little...bouncy?...jiggly?...whatever, all I know is that it looks soft and squishy and smooth. And it isn't flat or huge-huge-huge...its medium and perfect and love it. You also have a really pretty mouth. 'Cept you have this creepy ass smile. Its like evil. But its okay. When the aliens come it'll scare them off."

_Aliens? This is getting out of hand._

"I guess what I'm trying to spay...haha spay? I meant say...is spay even a word?...wait a sec, lemme look it up..."

Temari could hear typing in the background.

"Woah...spay _is _a word. It means...to remove the ovaries of an animal...ew. That's nasty...wait what was I trying to say...thinking...thinking...thinking...Oh Yeah! What I was trying to _say_ – not _spay_ – was that I like you. You've got like this thing. And it does something to me. So I like you. A lot. A lot a lot a lot. Like to the moon and back...that makes no sense. But I like you. So we should make it official and screw."

Temari's jaw dropped.

"I'm serious! Like why not? It's the 21st century and we're young, so let's do it...oh shit...I'm about to throw up...gotta go now cuz I'm seriously about to vomit."

And Shikamaru disconnected.

"What. The. Hell." Temari shook her head vigorously before going to the bedroom to sleep.

That completely ruined her night.

But Temari wasn't a liar. Okay, not a _big _one. So when she was smiling as she pulled the blanket over her body, she didn't blame it on the interesting and funny book she had been reading.

* * *

Shikamaru started blushing as he remembered the phone call.

"Shit Shit Shit Shit. What the hell did I do?"

Shikamaru sped to Temari's hokage-paid apartment. She opened the door.

"I am so sorry. If I wasn't drunk I would never have made that call. And those things I said! Where did I come up with them? Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. This is so troublesome. I hate apologizing to you."

Temari pulled him into her apartment and kissed him.

"Why..."

"I heard you liked my ass." Temari said.

Shikamaru blushed.

"We can give it a try but if you pull you chauvinistic bullshit we are done."

"I-I..."

"Am lucky that the great and sexy Temari decided to even look upon a creature as lowly as myself." Temari finished. "You totally should."

"I was going to say something along the lines of 'I probably will pull the chauvinistic bullshit.'"

Temari smacked him upside the head.

"OW!"

"And since you have yet to take me on a first date, we're not going to screw." Temari said.

Shikamaru blushed. "I wasn't serious."

"You said, and I quote, 'I'm serious!'"

"That was the alcohol."

"_Sure _it was."

"Good damn thing we're not. We would have to spay you first."

Temari's eybrow twitched and she decked him, hitting his temple straight on.

Ah, (started-from-a-drunken-phone-call) love.

* * *

**guess whos back? Back again? I am back. Tell a friend...im such a loser. The break hasnt been as long as the last. I think its been like a week or two. Perfectly acceptable. ANyways, my BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK ON WEDNSDAY! I AM SO EXCITED. **

**is this OOC? Yes? No? Did you like? Yes? No?**


	39. Tatted

"You go."

"No, you go."

"Why should I?"

"You're the man."

"You're older."

"Come on! Don't be such a coward."

"You're the one trying to avoid going!"

"I've already been here."

Shikamaru turned to stare at Temari. "You have not."

"You wanna bet, Mama's Boy."

"When have I ever been a mama's boy?"

"Does she cook for you?"

"Yes."

"Then you're a mama's boy." Temari said like it was obvious.

"Everyone's mom cooks for them!"

"Not mine."

"She used to."

"Not anymore."

"She's dead!"

"Whatever. Do you want to make a bet or not?"

"Fine. If you prove me wrong, I'll go in there and get one. Under the condition that you go in there, too, and get another one. I'll get two to make it even."

"Fine." Temari said as she lifted up her shirt to show Shikamaru the tattoo of a mini fan etched on her hip bone. "See? I've already been."

Shikamaru stared at it before licking his finger and wiping at the tattoo. It didn't come off.

"One hundred percent real."

"Fine." Shikamaru groaned before stepping slowly towards the tattoo parlor. Temari rolled her eyes before grabbing his hand and yanking him in.

"Coward."

"Damn right."

Not even 30 minutes later, Shikamaru and Temari were out of the parlor, looking at each other's wrists.

On Temari's there was an S and on Shikamaru's a T.

"I always thought tatting names was stupid but this way we can change it to other letters or numbers. We could even add to it if things don't work out." Temari said.

"_If _things don't work out."

"You're such a girl."

"Shut up."

"Okay, Shikamara."

"Thank you, Temaru."

Temari scowled. "Don't ever call me that again."

Shikamaru feigned sympathy. "Oh I'm sorry, you wanna go cry about it?"

Temari pretended to walk back inside the parlor. "Yeah...I'm changing this to an 8."

"Never pegged you a quitter." Shikamaru said sarcastically as he reached and pulled Temari into him.

"What was the other tattoo you got?"

Shikamaru held up his hand. Down the length of his arm it read Sabaku no.

"...You know the fan tat comes off with lemon juice."

"You know this is just Sharpie."

He put his hand near Temari's nose. She could smell the familiar aroma.

"I hate geniuses."

"Yeah..._that's _why you're dating me."

"Shut up you sarcastic pig."

"You first, She-Man."

Temari and Shikamaru started walking away from the parlor, bickering while rubbing their real tattoos and smiling.

* * *

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	40. The Things They Do

Shikamaru decided not to say anything when Temari blushed and smiled. He held his tongue when she laughed heartily at the Sunan nin's stupid joke. But when Temari's "friend" from her home country decided to give Temari a kiss on the cheek – _that _was when Shikamaru lost it.

"Damn pervert." He muttered.

Well as much as someone like him could lose it.

"What did you say?" Kasu said.

"Damn pervert." Shikamaru said with a sigh. He really did hate repeating himself.

"Well the lady seems to like it." Kasu said before putting his arm around Temari and stalking off. Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched. He sighed and followed them.

After a few minutes Kasu turned around and glared at Shikamaru. "Fuck off man; you've been following us for _hours."_

Shikamaru couldn't believe his ears. "...I was assigned to guide both of you."

"That's it!" Kasu yelled. "When I'm taking a walk with the lady, you don't follow us! When I'm talking with my girl, you don't listen! You don't need to be there when I'm with my chick! You're services are no longer required. Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to go get some fish."

"Temari hates fish." Shikamaru pointed out.

"Fuck you!" Kasu said as he charged in for the punch.

Shikamaru easily sidestepped.

Kasu pivoted and went in for another jab accompanied by a swift kick aimed for Shikamaru's jaw. Which the pineapple haired man dodged expertly, all the while sighing as his hands went deeper into his pockets.

Kasu growled in frustration and pulled out his Kunai and lunged at Shikamaru...only to find that he was frozen in place.

"You do realize that I won't let you have Temari." Shikamaru said with a yawn, forcing Kasu to lift his hand up and cover his wide open mouth.

"Why you–" Kasu started.

"Bastards!" Temari said as she punched Kasu who stayed in place and was forced to take every one of Temari's hard punches due to Shikamaru's jutsu. As for the genius, he stood slouching.

"The lady?! My lady?! My chick?!" Temari yelled between punches. "I have a name, you know! And I'm not your freaking property, Kasu!"

Shikamaru yawned again, this one louder than the first. Temari's turned to him.

"And you!" she screamed as she stomped over to him. "Saying, 'I won't l,et you have her' like your some fucking hero. Don't make me laugh, Lazy-ass! I make my own choices! If I want to date a person of my choice, I will! In fact..."

Temari stomped back to Kasu, grabbed hold of his face and kissed him.

Shikamaru's jaw dropped and he watched, in horror, as Temari made-out with Kasu. He was so shocked, he forgot he still had Kasu in his shadow and could've pulled him away from Temari.

The blonde wiped her mouth when she pulled away.

"See?"

"WHAT THE HELL, TEMARI?!" Shikamaru yelled, actually yelled.

"What?" she said innocently. "I told you I have the choice."

"But him?" Shikamaru asked. "That kind of guy?"

"And you're any better? Mr. I'm too lazy to even release my damn jutsu. You're wasting chakra."

"Don't change the subject!" Shikamaru said sharply but released the jutsu. Kasu fell to the ground, blushing.

"I wasn't, Lazy! What makes you better, huh? Tell me! I'd like to know what makes you, a lazy, crybaby coward better than that Shinobi right there!" she pointed to Kasu. "He actually _tries. _He trains instead of sleeping all day! He takes the exams instead of watching the clouds! So what makes you better?!"

"Well, for starters, I'm not an ass– "

"You are." Temari said. Shikamaru ignored it.

"–and I actually would treat you better than he would."

"Would it be any different from the way you treat me now?"

Shikamaru thought about it. He'd still be lazy, tell her how woman should leave things to men, and he'd fall asleep every now and then during conversations. Just like usual.

"No. Not really."

"Exactly. I have a right to pick whoever I want to pick. It's not your choice, it's not Kasu's, it's not anybody's choice, It's mine. _Mine."_

Shikamaru sighed. He knew who she was going to pick. Look at him and look at Kasu. Lazy and perpetually bored; outgoing and an achiever. Still Shikamaru felt like punching something, someone, especially Kasu.

Shikamaru was already walking away (no need to be here when Kasu was the obvious choice) when Temari spoke.

"And since the choice is mine, let's go lazy ass. You're buying me Ramen."

Shikamaru turned around, eyes widened slightly. "But you said..."

"I know what I said. That doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with you."

"B-but."

"Get that stupid look of your face, Genius,"– Temari was not being sarcastic in anyway when she said that word –"and take me for ramen."

Shikamaru sighed again, hiding a smile, before slowly walking to Temari.

"I can't believe you, of all people, actually got jealous."

"Shut up. Let's just go eat."

Temari grinned and Shikamaru smirked.

Kasu stared at the two and stood up and brushed off his pants.

Shikamaru didn't know about the much discussed plan that he and Temari came up with. He felt his jaw, and hissed at the pain. Though, punching him wasn't actually set in stone along with the rest of the idea.

Kasu shook his head and walked back to the embassy, he knew his boyfriend would be annoyed. News travels fast and eventually to Suna. Temari had kissed him and he'll have to deal with not only his angry boyfriend but her scary brothers.

He shuddered, the things he did for friendship.

He stared off at the receding figures. Temari was laughing.

"Oh, well. At least she's happy."

* * *

**did you like? I had this one sitting around. Deciding whether or not to update. I dont know hoe I feel about it but tell me!**

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	41. Proposal

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**thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday and to InnocentBlossom**

* * *

"I'm done! I'm just done!"

Temari kicked open his door and stormed out.

Shikamaru sighed. It wasn't the first time she had broken his door of its hinges and ran out for something as stupid as his complaining. But, as always, Shikamaru would always sigh and walk after Temari, who was always sitting on the steps fuming.

It was a routine. A very troublesome one.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Temari said as she pulled out a cigarette from the pack she had stolen from is counter. As usual, he took it and the pack from her and stuck it in his back pocket.

"Give it back."

"No."

Temari frowned and stood up. She started down the stairs.

Shikamaru grabbed her hand.

"Let me go Nara."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. This was getting annoying. Same thing, same time. Always. This was what kept their relationship stagnant. He knew _she _wouldn't do anything about it, so it was left to him. As troublesome as it would be, he would have to change this pattern.

So he let her go.

After some hesitation, Temari continued down the stairs.

"Oi, Troublesome Woman!" He yelled when she reached the bottom.

She turned, looking at him irritably but expecting him to go down after her and kiss her then take her back upstairs, like he always does.

"Marry me."

That threw her off. Temari started choking as she took in a breath. Sputtering and hacking whilst hitting her chest. Shikamaru sighed and finally went down the stairs after.

He gave her a good smack on the back.

"Ow!"

"I was helping."

"Bastard. That's not what you do to stop someone from choking."

"You stopped though, right?"

Temari opened her mouth to talk but closed it again.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Shut up."

Temari looked around before looking down.

"Were you serious?"

"What?"

"What you said, were you serious?"

Shikamaru nodded. "I was and am."

Temari looked at him. She was completely serious. "Yes. I will."

"You want to be specific?"

"You want to shut the fuck up?"

"No, I don't want to."

"Fine. Yes, I'll marry you, you son of a bitch."

Shikamaru smiled and pressed his lips to hers.

The next day, Temari didn't storm out.

She tried to, but he threw the ring at her receding figure and it got tangled in her hair. It took 20 minutes for him to get it out and slip it on her finger.

Temari rubbed the back of her head.

"What a lovely way to give me the ring."

"Can you refrain from using sarcasm?"

"No, I don't think I can."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So troublesome."

"Can it, Lazy-ass, you know you love me." Temari said, smiling.

* * *

**I dont know how I feel about the ending. Like I was feeling it while I was writing then near the end I was just like, "how dafuq should i end this?"**

**Again, I'd like to thank those who wished me a happy birthday and InnocentBlossom who reviewed every chap from chap 32 to 40.**

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	42. Not a Distraction

**SPAM!**

* * *

Temari decided it was better for the both of them if she left.

They were a distraction to each other. Nothing more. Just something to escape the confines of reality, something to let the mind wander from the task at hand and focus on something easier.

But distractions, after all, were just distractions and at some point, one's focus should be drawn back to the serious matters.

So Temari grabbed at her clothes that were strewn across the floor and slipped them on quietly. She glanced back at Shikamaru's still sleeping form.

"Just a distraction," she told herself before exiting.

Shikamaru woke up a few hours later. She was gone, he had heard her leave but the bed was just so comfortable and she, who was at his door, was just so far away. So he stayed in the comfort of his sheets and let her walk out, leaving her three words to linger in his apartment.

As he ate a sandwich that he made to calm his grumbling stomach, he noticed that the spare key to his apartment was gone.

He smiled.

Just a distraction, my ass, he thought.


	43. He Was, She Was

**SPAM!**

* * *

He was lazy.

But it gave Temari a reason to bitch at him more than usual. And after, the weight of a hard day would be shed and she'd feel lighter.

So she'd kiss him.

Because being around him was easy, and with his laziness, he was her stress reliever.

* * *

She was demanding.

It was evident in her tone and the way she carried herself. Her suggestions were never really suggestions but orders that just _had _to be carried out.

But Shikamaru liked, on those rare occasions, when she'd lie beside him in the grass not uttering a word. And as the minutes ticked by and her light snores disrupted the silence, her face would soften and she didn't seem so demanding.

And when he pressed his lips to her forehead and her eyes would flutter open, she'd smile and ask him if her presence in the grass was truly needed and she could go back to her hotel if he wanted.

It was his choice, he knew by her tone.

But he'd grasp her hand lightly, telling her that she could stay.


	44. For The Love of all Things Shogi

**SPAM!**

* * *

Temari was in his apartment, waiting for him to come home.

"I'm so boooored." She groaned as she stretched on his couch.

She rolled off of it to the floor and crawled to his coffee table before resting her head on the cool surface.

Temari had come from Suna, and she immediately went to Shikamaru's house, after greeting the Hokage of course.

She had knocked on the door but there was no answer. So Temari got on her knees, pulled a bobby pin out from her hair, and set to picking the lock; a more conventional way to get in Shikamaru's house without having to break a window.

When the door clicked open, she entered, calling out his name. He wasn't there so she waited. And here she was at his coffee table, bored out of her mind while waiting for him to walk in sighing and cracking his back as if he were an old man instead of a sixteen year old.

Temari got up from the coffee table and went into his room, her kimono was getting uncomfortable and one of Shikamaru's loose shirts and boxers was more suitable attire for lounging around.

As she pulled his shirt over her head and rolled up the boxer shorts, something in the back of Shikamaru's closet caught her eye. She pulled out the Shogi board and took it to the living room.

She recalled the last time she came and played a game against the lazy teen.

He had won countless times, and in her frustration, Temari knocked down her king in a vehement surrender before furiously leaving to go to the hotel she usually stayed at.

Temari set up the pieces like he taught her and looked down at the board, going over moves that would make her last longer this time around.

* * *

Shikamaru opened the door, sighing and cracking his back like the senior citizen he thought he was. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Temari sitting behind his Shogi board in _his _clothing.

"Rematch, Lazy-ass." She said.

Shikamaru sat down on the opposite side, knowing that there wasn't room for argument when Temari was determined in something.

As if he'd actually argue. He knew he'd say yes to whatever she'd request when she was looking the way she was now: eyes on the board, lower lip protruding in a thoughtful pout, and his shirt slipping off her shoulder.

She moved the first piece.

After 15 minutes, Shikamaru spoke. "Checkmate."

"Again."

20 minutes later and Shikamaru broke the silence with a sigh. "Checkmate."

"Again." Temari said, already rearranging the pieces.

The next match took a little over an hour. "Checkmate." Shikamaru said once more.

Temari grinned as she put the pieces away and shoved the board aside. She sat in his lap, facing him.

"I did good this time, didn't I?"

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah, but there were moves you could have done to win."

"Don't be such a kill joy." Temari said before softly kissing him.

It was moments like these when Shikamaru thought he was in love.

After all, who else would wait for him to come home just to play Shogi with him and lose?

Not many people.

In fact, Temari was the only person he could think of at the moment.

But his lack of thinking clearly could have been brought about from what she was currently doing with her tongue.

So kissed her back.


	45. Doctor, Doctor

**SPAM!**

* * *

Temari sat in the hospital waiting room. He was taking such a long time.

"How long could this fucking take?" She questioned as she doodled in the magazine. Hey, as childish as her acts seemed, she was bored and defacing the airbrushed and edited models was the only bit of fun she was having right now.

Shikamaru walked out of the door that separated the operating rooms from the patient waiting area.

Temari dropped the magazine and stood up, taking stride with Shikamaru.

When they were situated in his car, seatbelts buckled and the engine humming, she shifted to face him. "So what did they say?"

"You're pregnant."

Temari smiled. "Well, look at that Nara, you're going to be a daddy. You think you're ready for that kind of responsibility?" she teased.

Shikamaru's response was a grunt as he pressed his foot to the gas pedal, driving out of the parking lot.

After a couple of minutes of thoughtful silence, with Temari thinking up where a nursery was going to fit in there cramped apartment and Shikamaru pondering something else, he opened his mouth.

"I can't believe you made me take in a cup of your pee to get tested."

"Was it _troublesome_ for you?" Temari said, not really caring.

"You have no idea. All that trouble just because you didn't want the gynecologist to look. He's seen about twenty patients already!"

"Be lucky that the only man I want to look there is you."

"Is that really it?"

Temari huffed, crossing her arms. "No. Jaraiya's a creep and I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing that part of my body."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "What about all the other check-ups you're going to need."

Temari thought about this for a second. "You better spend your damn time finding me a new doctor then."

Shikamaru sighed and used one hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, the other was firmly planted on the wheel, steering them home.

_Troublesome_, he thought. Because saying it out loud would surely cause Temari to be angry and an accident was something he didn't want.

Especially with a baby in the car.


	46. Teasing

**SPAM!**

* * *

Kankuro found it rewarding to tease Temari about her relationship with the young Nara.

"So how does it feel knowing that you're a rapist?" He'd say. "After all, your boy-toy is a minor and you, you're an adult."

Gaara would only shake his head as the heavy fan would come in contact with his elder brother's head.

* * *

When she came home from her liaison duties, Kankuro would stand with his arms outstretched as his Temari's figure came into a view. "Long time no see, my cougar of a sister!"

Stares from citizens would meet Temari and a shuriken would whiz past the puppet-master's ear.

* * *

On Shikamaru and Temari's wedding day, Kankuro's intro to his toast was...to say the least...interesting.

"On this glorious day, friends come together to witness the union of a cougar and her gigolo." Collective gasps and jaw dropping ensued. "How long this union will last, we don't know. But as long as Temari's money supply isn't depleting and the amount of Rolex watches Nara gets doesn't diminish, we can estimate this union to last a number of years and so-" Gaara knew for a fact that there were many, _many_, more jabs directed at the newly-wed couple but the champagne bottle that was broken over Kankuro's head silenced him.

Temari turned to smile at the guests, pretending that she hadn't just knocked her brother unconscious.

"That concludes the toasts." She said.

* * *

When Temari was in the sand sibling's mansion, going through mission files and trying to pick between escorting a princess and going after a rogue, Kankuro came in with his genin.

"So, as an exercise, we will be playing hide and seek."

"But how will that help us, Sensei?"

"You will be using genjutsu and ninjutsu to find each other. You can use taijutsu, but only if it is truly needed. Don't worry about the furniture; I've already put a jutsu around them. You guys decide who's 'it' while I..." he trailed off, noticing how Temari curiously stared at the kids, wondering if the exercise was good training.

Kankuro pushed his genin toward her. "Do you want to examine them?" He started. "I mean, I know how much you love to rob cradles."

The genin didn't get to train that day, and were sent home instead. Their sensei was in the intensive care unit at the hospital and Temari was getting questioned for attempt at murder.


	47. Love, Food, and Second-Hand Smoking

**SPAM!**

* * *

Love is found in different places.

Temari's was found in Konoha, miles away from her country, in a young, lazy boy born three years after her.

Shikamaru's was found in a woman who resembled his mother and annoyed him to no end.

* * *

Temari heaved; retching into the toilet bowl.

Shikamaru leaned against the door frame, staring at her disinterestedly, but really – and she knew this – he was worried. "Oh come on. It couldn't have been that bad."

In response Temari heaved once more.

When she was done, she wiped her mouth and pointed an accusing figure at him.

"You," she said in a low, harsh tone, "will never cook again."

* * *

Temari peered at him out of the corner of her eyes. He blew out a puff of smoke. She watched as it rose, tendrils curling up into the air before disappearing.

He inhaled again.

"Why do you smoke?" she asked. She heard it calmed the nerves but Shikamaru always seemed in check and collected, so smoking did not seem necessary for him.

He shrugged and blew out another puff.

She didn't understand until Baki had died and she had felt something constantly pull at her heart.

When Temari breathed in the smoke coming from Shikamaru's cigarette, the pull in her chest went away, and the tears stinging at her eyes left.

And thus, Shikamaru was always in her company and she found things much more relaxing when he would light up a cigarette and blow.

* * *

**DID YOU ENJOY THE SPAM?**


	48. Ino's Wrath and Uncharacteristicness

**AND SO THE SPAM CONTINUES...**

**(might be the last one for tonight though.)**

**But damn, when inspiration hits...**

**Seven chaps in one night. NEW RECORD!**

* * *

Ino took it upon herself to look out for her teammates.

She turned and looked at them. Such dopey faces!

Shikamaru was too stupid to stay awake for five minutes and Choji was too dumb to put down his bag of chips and reflect on how shitty his health is!

Yes, it was solely her responsibility to take care of these dumbasses and deflect the ridicule that was surely to come their way.

When Ino was walking from the mall to the barbeque to check on Choji and make sure he wasn't eating the food he was cooking for customers, she saw Shikamaru and a girl angrily jabbing her finger against his chest.

Ino went in closer to hear.

"You stupid asshole! You're too lazy to even fucking look up! This is why people like you are useless to society. Why don't you get your head out of your ass and pay some damn attention?!"

What the girl said was true. But that didn't mean she could say it. Ino saw herself as Shikamaru and Choji's sister so she could tease them, insult them, and annoy the heck out of them but other people couldn't and shouldn't lest the wrath of Yamanaka Ino be forced upon them as if God himself was punishing those who dared to mess with her "brothers".

"You bitch!" Ino yelled, thrusting her shopping bags into Shikamaru's hands. "Who the _hell _do you think you are? You cannot say that about him. You don't have the fucking _right_! I'll kick your ass, right here, right now!"

The girl's eyes darkened and Ino almost peed herself. She was scared for her life and she was tempted to say "Just kidding!" in a sing-songy voice and skip away nervously. But she held her ground, her knees slightly wobbly.

The girl turned to Shikamaru. "_Who's this?" _she whispered darkly. "_I push you out of fucking traffic and save your pathetic life and this bitch comes out of nowhere and starts yelling. Are you cheating on me Shikamaru? So help me god, if you are..."_

"No, Temari! I am NOT cheating on you with Ino." Shikamaru yelled trying to stop Temari before a double homicide occurs.

"_So you __**know **__her?" _Temari was fuming.

Ino's mouth parted in an 'O'. The girl – whose name, from what Shikamaru called her, was Temari – had saved his life and was just scolding him. And, as it turns, out she was his girlfriend.

"No! No!" Ino said, trying to defend her teammate. "He's just my teammate. I thought you were some bitc – I mean girl yelling at him. And I see myself as his sister so I..er...decided to help him."

Temari didn't look convinced. "_If you are lying to me..."_

Shikamaru shook his head and reached out to grab Temari's hand and kissing under her thumb, where her pulse was. "I wouldn't lie to you."

She visibly relaxed.

Ino thought it uncharacteristic of Shikamaru to do something like this and made a barfing noise before making a gun with her fingers and putting it to her head, giving a 'shoot me' sign.

Shikamaru and Temari turned their heads angrily in Ino's direction. The look in Shikamaru's face told her that she was not, in any way, helping his situation.

"Sorry. Sorry. Don't mind me. Go back to your cute but disturbingly out of character relationship acts."

"Ino." Shikamaru said in a way that made her know that she should leave.

"Okay, okay. I got it. I'll just go make sure that Choji hasn't eaten someone yet."

She grabbed her bags from Shikamaru and scurried off to the barbeque to find her other "brother".

Well that was weird, she thought before looking back.

Temari just stepped on Shikamaru's foot and turned away, arms crossed. The look on the genius' face told Ino that it hurt a lot.

She felt sorry for him but decided that looking out for Shikamaru was not an option when Temari was around. That was a relationship she would not voluntarily meddle in.

Ino sauntered into the barbeque, pulling out a bag of kettle-cooked chips (because it's healthier) and handed them to Choji who was on break.

As she sat with him talking about this and that, her mind wandered off to Shikamaru and Temari.

Really, she thought, what Shikamaru did to calm his raging girlfriend was pretty cute.


	49. Spring Break

_**I've never been to a spring break party. (Im young) So if my account of what happens in this chapter isnt anything like a spring break party, please dont hate me. Im basing my knowledge of what goes on from movies and American Dad.**_

* * *

_"I've got three words, men: alcohol, bikini's, and sex!" Kiba exclaimed._

_The rest of the young men cheered._

* * *

Shikamaru tried to navigate his way through the beach party.

But as he side-stepped a dancing couple, he was stopped by a bouncy brunette and her equally bouncy blonde friend.

"Hi, I'm Tina!" The brunettes said. And this is Hillary. "The blonde flashed him a smile at the mention of her name.

Tina continued. "Sooo, we couldn't help but notice that you're lost. We could...um...show you around."

Shikamaru could tell from the way she bit her lip that his tour would be short and the two girls would lead him to some secluded area where there'd be a lot less talking and a lot more movement.

He politely declined. "No thanks...Tamika."

By the way her smile strained and her eyebrows slightly twitched, Shikamaru knew he was way off.

"It's Tina."

At least he got the first letter right.

_Whatever. _"Sorry. Bye Tina, bye Hailey."

Before Hillary could correct him, he walked past them.

"He didn't even remember our names!" Hillary said in disbelief.

Tina bristled. "To turn down _this?_ He is so gay!"

Shikamaru just kept walking and wishing he ignored his mom and Kiba.

_Live a little, Kiba had said.  
Bring home a girlfriend, his mom had said as she practically shoved him out of the house._

Shikamaru looked around. His eyes landed on some girl who was staring directly at him as she danced provocatively on her boyfriend, or random guy – it was hard to tell. She pointed to herself, Shikamaru, and her dance partner before holding up a three with her hands.

_Mom, you're lucky if I don't bring home a baby._

He shook his head at the girl, who frowned and let her pointer and ring finger go down, leaving the stand alone middle finger to flick Shikamaru off.

Shikamaru just shrugged and moved on. He heard the girl scoff from behind.

All Shikamaru wanted was to find someplace where he could just sit and think and sleep.

Eventually, he was at the base of a small hill. He walked up, following its winding path until he was at the top, giving him an overhead view of the party below.

It was a mass of college kids who were all energetic and a little tipsy.

Lee would say, "Youth at its finest," before capturing the moment with a Kodak.

Shikamaru just called it troublesome before opening his Miller Lite and taking a small sip.

"So I take it that you're the designated driver."

Shikamaru groaned. Someone else was here.

"Yeah, I was hoping that I wouldn't meet anyone up here either."

He turned around.

His eyes met a teal-eyed girl, all tanned skin, blonde hair, long legs, and curves.

Ino (who, by now, had won the wet t-shirt contest and moved on to trying to enter the cages, deciding she would be the one to best the hired strippers. "YOLO." She'd say later) would hate her.

So what was this girl doing up here?

Shikamaru gave her the once over again.

She cocked her hip to one side and narrowed her eyes, almost making him choke on his drink at how _sexy _she made that casual movement looked. Inow ould despise her.

Yeah, Shikamaru thought, _why _was she up here?

"Oh god, you want to sleep with me now."

Shikamaru sputtered and coughed. "I don't even know you!"

"I can see it in your eyes."

"I dont–"

"Jesus Christ, Kid, take a joke!" The girl said as she sat beside him and opening her mini cooler.

"Temari." She said before out a Heineken and popped it open.

Maybe he was feeling more social or maybe it was because Temari was clad in a tight bikini and shorts that didn't do much, but before he knew it, Shikamaru had said his name.

"Well Shikamaru, you're my Spring Break Buddy as of now. Wear that title with honor."

"I'd rather stay up here, thank you."

"Okay, buddy. We'll just have a party up here, then."

Shikamaru shrugged.

Five minutes later and Temari took his Miller Lite and threw it off the hill.

"I was drinking that."

Temari ignored him. "You're boring and this party is stupid."

"Agreed."

"That one is too." She nodded at the one below them.

"Agreed."

Temari studied him for a moment before standing up and pulling him with her. "We're joining it."

Shikamaru regarded her with little interest before sitting back down and reaching into her cooler for a new beer.

She pulled him back up. "I _said _we're joining it."

"Why? I want to stay up here. You can join it."

"Sorry, but we're strict followers of the Buddy System."

"I won't follow you into the porta-potties."

"It's okay. I'll find us a nice, cozy bush. Is that a yes?"

"No, it's not. I'll just stay up here and you can go and have a nice time."

"I'll hand-cuff you to me."

"Kinky...but I'm not interested."

"Come on, Shikamaru."

He ignored her.

"The silent treatment, eh? Real mature."

Still ignored her.

"Get your ass up, you bastard. We are going to join that damn party."

"We hardly know each other."

"That's what makes it fun!" Temari said.

Fun.

He hasn't been having any for weeks.

"Fine."

Temari pulled him back up and led him down the hill, talking about shots and how he needed some loosening up.

After a couple of tequila shots, Shikamaru and Temari were doing body shots of each other.

He didn't even know how it happened.

Temari got up from the table, laughing.

"What next?"

Shikamaru smiled at her. "The kegs?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

Everything was all fine and dandy until Temari threw up on him while participating in a keg stand.

He sobered up instantly.

* * *

"I shouldn't have listened to you." Shikamaru said, washing his shirt in the ocean, his buzz officially killed.

"I've already said sorry."

"No you didn't."

"Really? I thought I did. Sorry, then."

"You don't sound sincere." Shikamaru said while wringing his shirt, before deciding he'd rather burn it than wear it.

There was talk of staring a bonfire. His spoiled shirt would make perfect kindling.

"I am _so _sorry, Shikamaru. I don't know what came over me. I should have never talked you into being my buddy. I should have never thrown up on you. How am I ever to repay you?"

"Now you just sound sarcastic."

"Oh please." Temari scoffed. "Like you weren't having fun?"

"I was. Until somebody regurgitated on my shirt."

"I already said sorry."

Shikamaru glanced at her. She wasn't even looking at him.

"Whatever." He'd take what he can get.

Shikamaru got up and started walking towards a group of students who were piling wood. Shikamaru tossed his shirt on that pile. When they gave him a questioning look, he just said, "Burn it."

"Okay. So what next?" Temari asked.

"I'm thinking of heading home."

Temari stared at him. "Oh." She said quietly.

_Don't give me that look._

"It's getting late so..."

"I understand. I just..."

"Yeah."

An awkward silence made Shikamaru groan.

"Shit!" he swore.

This was stupid. They were acting like they'd never see each other again. They're adults, damn it! They're was no need to act so...so...awkward.

Temari looked up at him.

"Would you like to get something to eat?" He asked. "We've only been drinking and I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah. That'd be great. I know a wicked good diner around here."

They ventured to his car and followed the directions Temari gave him.

After the diner and watching Temari eat her dinner, the rest of his, and dessert, he took her home.

His mom almost had a heart attack when she saw the kind of girl her son brought into her house-hold: Scantily clad in her bikini and shorts and walking up the stairs in a way that no one could ignore.

_Troublesome, _Shikamaru thought as his mother started shrieking for the girl to put on some damn clothes.

He smiled at the grinning Temari as he went up the stairs with sweatpants in one hand and a big t-shirt in the other.

* * *

**I don't know how I feel about the ending.**

**And so another update. At first I was thinking I'd stop updating for a while. Because seven chapters in one night and only four reviews? What. Da. Hell.**

**But then I thought about it: I never expected to get this much readers and followers. The fact that I'm getting hits and views means I'm doing something right. So I'll just keep updating and let ya'll do ya thing.**

**But I still like getting reviews.**


	50. The ShikaTema Alphabet

**And so... the AZ of ShikaTema.**

**This is not for any challenge. I keep seeing these around ff and though they were made for some challenge years ago, I wanted in. Like seriously. I was writing ABC stories IN MY HEAD every time I saw these. I had to go on a few times but I managed to get the harder letters like X,Y, and Z.**

**26 drabbles, daaaaamn.**

** That's like 26 chaps.**

* * *

**1. A is for Arrogance: ****_an offensive display of superiority_**

Temari casually stepped onto the ring, awaiting her opponent.

What fell before her was a scrawny mass of disappointment.

"This will be easy." She muttered. "Oi, hurry up so we can get this over with!"

Shikamaru regarded her with half-lidded eyes that said, 'Whatever' before getting up from the floor and shoving his hands in his pocket.

He smirked. "I'd rather not fight but I can't let a mere girl beat me."

Temari growled. _Girl? _She was 15, older than him! "I'll kick your ass!"

_Assuming you could, _Shikamaru thought.

He sighed: his opponents never learned.

**2. B is for Boring: ****_a dull, tiresome, or uncongenial person_**

Temari studied Shikamaru as the carriage took them to some small rice village to retrieve a missing heiress.

His eyes were closed and his slow breathing told her he was asleep.

She carefully got up and inched her way to his side of the carriage. She noticed how is eyebrows were arched perfectly as if he waxed them regularly. The way his lips were set and how the determined thrust of his jaw and high cheekbones didn't fit his personality. Funny how he looked the most focused when he was in his most relaxed state.

"What do you want?" he said slowly, eyes still closed, breathing in and out through his nose.

Temari stiffened and blushed. She was thankful he didn't open his eyes.

She plopped down beside him. "Nothing. It's just that this ride is kinda boring."

**3. C is for Cold: ****_having a relatively low temperature_**

Temari made it a point to avoid Konoha during the winter.

But Life was feeling bitchy that winter and decided it was time for Temari to fulfill her liaison duties in that season for the first time ever.

She showed up in Konoha wearing a heavy ski jacket, shivering and waiting for Shikamaru to arrive.

He walked slowly to her, wearing a thin hoodie and shorts, whistling like it wasn't 40 freaking degrees.

"Lazy-ass, if you don't walk faster right now, I swear I will murder your whole family and pin it on you."

"Get your panties out of a wad, Temari." He took in her appearance and laughed. "It's not even that cold."

"Shut up! Just take me to my hotel and get me some hot cocoa."

Her teeth were chattering and Shikamaru took her to his house because it was closer and warmer than the hotel lobby would be.

**4. D is for Domestic: ****_of or pertaining to the home, the household_**

"Did you really bleach all of our clothes?"

Temari wanted to choke Shikamaru. Just the way he asked her that question set her teeth on edge. It was like he was mocking her but half-assing it because she wasn't worth mocking or he was just too damn lazy to _really _mock her.

Either way, it pissed her off.

"Thank God you can cook." He said before turning away.

Temari snarled and threw a shuriken at him, scaring him and successfully trimming his split ends. Not her intended purpose but hey, she was always telling him to get a haircut.

**5. E is for Enmity: ****_a feeling or condition of hostility; hatred; animosity_**

Shikamaru groaned as she hit him again with her fan. Guiding Temari was the worst possible job assigned to him. And what was worse was that he was stuck with guiding duties for the rest of his ninja life.

He was seriously considering a suicide mission or early retirement. Who was he kidding? Tsunade wouldn't let him retire early. He'd be lucky if she let him retire at 50.

Seppuku, then? He didn't have the guts. (no pun intended) Suicide mission it is.

"I _hate _you!" Temari shrieked, giving him a good smack to the back with the butt of her fan.

_The feelings mutual, _he thinks as his world turns black.

Kind of ironic how they fell in love with each other for the reasons they hated each other.

**6. F is for Fickle: ****_Likely to change_**

After years of being Ino's friend, Shikamaru came to a conclusion.

Women are fickle.

So when Temari told him she loved him he hesitated, not knowing whether he should strip down his defenses and allow vulnerability. In the end, he over-thought it and by the time he said it back, she didn't believe him.

It wasn't until he ventured all the way to Suna, out of his own accord – a really big deal considering it was Shikamaru – did she allow herself to believe him and get rid of the pretense that all the men in the world are fickle-minded.

**7. G is for Giant: ****_a person or thing of unusually great size_**

Temari hated being pregnant. She hated her sore feet. She hated how uncomfortable it was to sleep. She hated having to change her entire closet to maternity wear just because she had to accommodate the _planet_ that was now her stomach.

So she'd always ask for Choji.

"Is Choji coming?"

"Bring Choji with you."

"I'll only go if Choji's there."

Shikamaru was getting annoyed. Mainly because the smile she usually saves for him is now getting stored for his round friend while all he got were frowns.

"What's with you and Choji?" He asked one day.

Temari crossed her arms and answered stiffly. "I'm getting fatter and you look as scrawny as ever. Standing next to him makes me feel thin."

After ten seconds of silence, Shikamaru burst out laughing.

The only reason Temari didn't kill him was because it took her a number of tries to get up and by the fifth try she just gave up.

**8. H is for Happiness: ****_good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy_**

Shikamaru let Temari wash his cut.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Shikamaru grunted in reply. She continued to clean out the gash in his shoulder. She had been under a jutsu. After, she had been angry at herself. And now she's sorry.

She added the rubbing alcohol and he hissed.

After the disinfectant ointment was applied and the bandage was secure, Temari kissed his wound.

Shikamaru smiled.

He could still feel the searing in his shoulder blade but he was happy.

**9. I is for Incandescent: ****_intensely bright; brilliant_**

There was a certain radiance to Temari that attracted Shikamaru like a moth to a lamp.

Maybe it was the way she walked. Maybe it was the way she talked. Maybe it was her ability to be unlike every girl he's met but still be feminine. Or maybe it was the way she just showed up at a place and everyone knew she was there, the way her existence had an impact on everybody. They didn't even have to know her.

Or maybe it was that slight smile she'd have on when she'd see him, but Shikamaru always felt warm in her company, like it was always summer.

**10. J is for Justice: ****_to appreciate properly/to acquit in accordance with one's abilities_**

Blatant determination, Temari decided, doesn't do Shikamaru justice.

It made him look creepy. If he was like Naruto, always grinning or smiling or just plain "I'll persevere!" , Temari would stop talking to him altogether.

Shikamaru's show of determination was in the set of his jaw. It was a clench. Hardly noticeable. And the rest of him looked the same, hands in pockets, head bent downwards, posture slouching.

But Temari wouldn't admit – especially since she's always telling him to show some motivation – that the Shikamaru she constantly tried to change was the one she'd rather be with.

**11. K is for Knowledgeable: ****_possessing or exhibiting knowledge, insight, or understanding_**

"How do you know when you're truly in love?"

That was the question on the napkin case. It was the inquiry of the day, designed to start up a conversation at your table.

"S-so how do you?" Hinata said as she passed around the napkin holder.

Ino started. "When they're the first and last thing you think about. When you dream about them. When you know you would die for them. When you do everything in your power to keep them safe. When you think about them before you do anything. When you want to be with them every single second of every single day."

"When you're able to pour out your heart and soul to them, allowing your selves to become one." Sakura added.

They both smiled as they spoke in unison. "That's how you know when you're truly in love."

Hinata turned to Ten-Ten. She shrugged. "I think I agree with them."

Ino nodded. Of course she would. Who wouldn't agree with someone as intellectual and as deep as her?

Hinata turned to Temari, who smiled. "Easy. When you're able to fart in front of them and not give a shit."

**12. L is for Loser: ****_The person or team that didn't win_**

Temari didn't feel like hauling all the suitcases from the trunk and instead opted for Shikamaru to do it.

"Oi, Lazy, take the suitcases out."

"Why should I?"

"You lost our match."

"6 years ago."

"You still lost."

Shikamaru made his way to the car, groaning and mumbling about the hierarchy that ruled their relationship.

Then he froze.

"Pick up the pace, Ass." Temari said when he stopped moving.

He turned to Temari smiling. She quirked an eyebrow as if to say, 'The fuck you smiling for?'

"Technically I won, because I was the only one named Chunin."

He bounded into the house they would be sharing for this joint mission, feeling like a King and not a servant.

Temari seethed as she pulled out their luggage.

**13. M is for Madness: ****_the state of insanity_**

Sakura was shocked when Temari briskly walked up to her, demanding she examine her.

"Something is wrong with me." She said once they were in the room, Temari wearing the normal patient garb. "I think I'm going insane. Or maybe I'm about to have a heart attack or a stroke. Maybe it's cancer. I don't know! Something is wrong!"

She was talking frantically and Sakura tried to calm her down with a soothing smile and soft voice.

"Okay Temari. Tell me your symptoms or what you're experiencing."

Temari looked at her strangely for a second before speaking. "My heart beats faster. I can't think or speak. All I want to do is be there. And then…" she leaned in, "I keep blushing. That's _not _normal. Not for me. And lastly, don't talk to me like I'm a baby!"

Sakura frowned. So soft and soothing was a no go. "Fine." She said normally. "When does your heart beat quicken? Where do you want to be? When do you keep blushing?"

"When I'm around him. Always when I'm around him. And I only want to be where he is."

"Who?"

"The Lazy-ass."

Sakura looked at her questioningly. "The who?"

Temari was getting frustrated and was about to say The Little Sloth Bastard when she realized that not much people know her nick-names for him. "Shikamaru, damn it!"

Sakura let this all sink in for a moment before she gave a nervous giggle. "I think you're in love, Temari-san."

**14. N is for Noir: ****_black_**

Temari's black kimono looked innocent the first glance. The second glance is when you notice the slit but pay it no mind, there were skimpier outfits on the kunoichi of Konoha.

But the third glance is when you notice the cut of it; the way it fits on Temari. The way the red obi cinches around her waist, showing a figure coveted and lusted after by many. You'll notice the way the thin material moves in the wind and the skirt of it flaps up, showing more leg and thigh than one should be used to. The way the plunging neck-line moves up and down with every breath.

Her outfit leaves little to the imagination on the third glance but it somehow keeps you guessing, so you can't help but look.

So Shikamaru would hand her his vest when she arrives and makes sure she buttons it _all the way up _before walking in front, behind, or beside her, depending on the direction of the wind.

**15. O is for Oddity: ****_a remarkably unusual person, the quality of being odd_**

Temari looked down at the sleeping Shikamaru. He had disappeared while they were working to watch the clouds. After an extensive search she found him at Konoha's borders in a branch of a tree, sound asleep.

She too was sitting on the branch, waiting for him to wake up. But only because pushing a Konaha citizen down from a tall tree would not shine good light on Sunagakure.

He snored a little, drool dribbling down his chin.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Hmph."

_Hard to believe someone like him has an IQ of 200+, _She thought.

He groaned and rolled over, almost falling off but Temari caught him and balanced him – precariously – on the branch.

"What a weirdo." She said out loud as Shikamaru hugged himself, mumbling about plans for the Chunin exams.

**16. P is for Prolepsis: ****_the anticipation of possible objections in order to answer them in advance_**

"What if we wear a disguise?"

"That wouldn't work. That village makes it a point to recognize its inhabitants chakra."

"Okay...so how about we show them our signed statement?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nope. They don't abide by the same laws as the five main villages."

"What about – "

"Nope that won't work either."

The corner of Temari's mouth twitched. "Oh my God, Shikamaru. We all know you could be a great lawyer but just fucking stop!"

Shikamaru smirked.

**17. Q is for Quota: ****_the share or proportional part of a total that is required_**

Temari had a specific amount of beatings a day for Shikamaru. In the morning, afternoon, and evening there'd always be at least two or three hits.

But she'd kiss him at least five times in each time of day so Shikamaru couldn't really complain as much as he'd like to.

**18. R is for Recant: ****_To withdraw or disavow a statement, opinion, etc.; retract_**

Temari figured that Shikamaru would always a lazy bastard. Once a thief always a thief, right? He was always sleeping and yawning and trying to lie down wherever he was. Temari was so tempted to kick him as hard as she could in the back so she could straighten out his shitty posture. But after she saw him in action, giving orders and stating full-proof plans, she thinks that seeing him in a new light wasn't so hard.

Shikamaru decided that Temari was a vengeful spirit who was out for not only blood but a full blown massacre. There should be a maximum level of how much someone was troublesome, right? Right?! Wrong. Temari was hell-bent on exceeding that limit and breaking the only bar of measurement. Now Shikamaru could only say, "Tied with my mom." But some days, Temari would flash him a smile that made him stop in his tracks and rethink his whole system of troublesome-ness.

**19. S is for Strategy: ****_a plan, method, or series of maneuvers for obtaining a specific goal or result_**

Temari stood there awkwardly as Shikamaru taught his class. He had asked her to come for a demonstration and so far, nothing has been demonstrated.

It was kind of pissing her off.

So for another ten minutes she waited. It was getting hot and sticky and it was not a good day to be wearing her long, black kimono.

Shikamaru finally turned to her.

"Okay class, rule number one in a battle: always strike first."

Temari was about to lunge at him when he forced her to look down. He had her trapped with his shadow. Anything goes from there but capturing her was as far as he'd go for his example.

He went back to teaching but Temari decided that she'd make him pay for keeping her out in the sun only for immobilizing her with his shadow. He does it on a daily basis!

"Rule number two, kids." Temari unfolded her fan. "The bigger weapon wins!"

On the word 'win', she blew Shikamaru away, literally, with one swipe of her fan.

Later, all the girls in the Genius' class equipped themselves with handheld fans while the boys took to the word troublesome and trying to fend off the girls with the threat of an elongated shadow.

**20. T is for Thoughtfulness: ****_Showing consideration for others_**

Shikamaru returned home from work to find a hot meal on the table.

When he was done Temari piped up. "The bath is ready."

Shikamaru thought this strange but didn't question it. After, when he saw his workspace cleared and his shoes put up did he stop and say something.

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Then what did you do?"

Temari blushed. "Ass. Can't a wife do something thoughtful once in a while?"

Shikamaru stared her down until she sighed and admitted the truth. "I kinda signed you up for that Nara retreat."

"You signed me up for hunting?!"

"Your cousin kept on telling me that her husband was better and how he'd catch that hog in two hours. She was blatantly challenging me so I told her you can kill the boar in an hour and a half."

Shikamaru groaned. He never participated in those things. His dad, who was the head of the Nara clan, didn't even show up to start it. He said that he was too old and he had more serious matters of the clan to take care of. When really, he used that time to sleep.

"So…" Temari said as she walked into their room. "Happy Hunting!" She shut the door.

Shikamaru groaned and put his head down on the table.

Temari opened the door once more to glare at him. "You better bring home the stupid hog you bastard."

Shikamaru lifted his head and got to thinking.

If it'll make Temari happy, he'd get the pig in an hour.

**21. U is for Umber: ****_shade; shadow_**

Temari thought it was fitting that Shikamaru liked to sleep under the shadow of a tree. When he'd watch clouds, he would look past the edge of the leaves and at the shapes, but as long as he was in the shade, things were fine.

So when Shikamaru had to go to Suna for _his _liaison duties and their rolls were switched, Temari would stick her fan in the ground and give Shikamaru a makeshift shade when he wanted to watch the red and orange afternoon clouds roll by.

**22. V is for Vanilla: ****_any tropical, climbing orchid bearing pod-like fruit yielding an extract used in flavoring food, or in perfumery_**

Temari smelled like vanilla.

Shikamaru had always thought himself more of a sherbet kind of guy, but he found himself burying his face in Temari's hair when they hugged or pulling her closer and nuzzling the crook of her neck.

It was intoxicating.

Temari would eventually leave Konoha when her allotted time for staying was up and Shikamaru found himself in a convenience store, buying vanilla scented air-fresheners.

And then he'd make his way to Marble Slab, Baskin Robbins, or either Cold Stone Creamery where he'd buy some Vanilla Ice Cream.

**23. W is for Whipped: ****_Being controlled by a woman to the point where you'd say or do anything for them_**

Shikamaru's son, Asuma, watched as his mother constantly yelled at his dad, making him do random tasks when he'd rather be sleeping or was actually sleeping.

The three of them were eating breakfast.

"Sit up straight." Temari said sharply.

Shikamaru sat up straight.

"Chew with your mouth closed."

He chewed with his mouth closed.

"Chew faster."  
"Not that fast."  
"Swallow!"

Okay, so Asuma didn't actually hear the last one but he felt he knew that was where it was going.

When his mom left to wash the dishes, he turned to Shikamaru. "Hey Dad." He whispered, the walls have ears and they'd report to Temari.

"Hm?"

"Why'd you marry a woman like her?"

Déjà vu. Shikamaru thought whether he should give the same answer his dad gave him all those years ago. But he knew his son would say, "What a shitty answer", after he'd state that a capable woman such as Temari had a soft side reserved for her loved one.

So Shikamaru took the easy route and shrugged. "The sex is good."

Asuma put the spoonful of cereal that was almost to his lips back in the bowl before pushing it away.

"Well, there goes breakfast." He said as he stood up.

"What? You asked." Shikamaru called after his son, a wide grin on his face.

Asuma would understand in the near future.

His teammate, Yumi, _has_ been giving him hell.

**24. X is for Xeric: ****_characterized by, or adapted to an extremely dry habitat_**

"It's hot." Shikamaru said, tugging at his collar.

Temari nodded. It was hot but not anything she wasn't used to. "Just a little further and we'll be there." She said to appease Shikamaru.

He grunted. "It's like a freaking volcano."

"We're almost there." She said again. They were still walking through the desert lands that surrounded Suna: Sand dunes everywhere and not a tree with a good shade in sight.

Shikamaru stared at her. She had a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. She had never slowed her pace and only stopped when he begged for a rest. Temari had barely touched the water supply. In fact, she had one water bottle while they were still in Konoha but that seemed to last her the whole trip.

She was a cactus, Shikamaru concluded.

**25. Y is for YOLO: ****_You Only Live Once_**

Shikamaru thought that if he ever got a second chance at life he'd do things differently. He'd avoid Ino like the plague, be as underachieving as always, and never show anything that would make people think he was smart.

He'd get the submissive girl, get the two children: girl then boy, and he'd die a quiet little death in his sleep because being awake when you bite it is most likely troublesome.

Shikamaru looked down at Temari. She was sleeping peacefully but taking up most of his bed space. She snorted and whispered, "Lazy-ass, it's cold" before turning over.

Shikamaru smirked. Scratch that, if he ever did live a second time, he'd do everything the same; but only because it would be troublesome to change the flow of things.

And because he wouldn't mind falling in love with Temari all over again.

**26. Z is for Zip: ****_To fasten or unfasten with a zipper_**

Temari and Shikamaru stood in line for movie tickets. Temari was playing with her jacket while they waited.

Up and down; Slow, fast.

As she brought it down, slow this time, a couple of teenage boys stared at her, laughing.

She didn't notice them but Shikamaru did. He fully unzipped her jacket and broke the zipper so she couldn't play with it anymore.

She was cold throughout the movie but on their way home he bought her a pullover hoodie.

* * *

**BOOM, THERE IT IS!**

**I couldn't think of any Y words so I acronymed that shit!**

**For C, I live in Texas so 40 degrees is pretty cold. It could be cold for you. Idk how it is for you northerners.**

**You cannot believe how long this took. Fucking hours. I started at like 6 pm, and finished at 4. IN THE MORNING. I really need to start prewriting again. Except I have no ideas with a pencil and paper but my gears actually start moving when a keyboard is in front of me. This is why I need my own laptop. Stealing my mom's is getting annoying plus it's immoral.**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	51. Why?

**Idk I'm just blocked. No inspiration whatsoever. So forgive me if this is terrible.**

**Enjoy. (Or try to)**

* * *

_"Why?"_

Such a simple question that she had asked him. But he wasn't anticipating it. He had thought she'd accept his feelings with just a kiss. But then again, Temari's not a normal girl. She doesn't clap happily and squeal.

_She asks stupid questions, _Shikamaru thought in frustration.

It wasn't really a stupid or an unreasonable question. It was just uncalled for. Who says 'Why' when someone confesses?

Temari, apparently.

Did he even need a reason to love her?

Maybe. If the roles were switched, he thinks he'd like to know what was so appealing about someone as lazy as him.

_Was _there anything appealing about him? Was there anything appealing about _Temari?_

Uderneath her physical appearance, she was – and he's a little sorry to say this – a bitch.

Her sweet little smile conceals a sharp tongue. Her soft hands deceive you into thinking that the power behind her clenched fist isn't that destructive. The curve of her waist and flare of her hips say "feminine" while she says "I'll kill you".

What the _hell _was so appealing about _that_? What _made _him attracted to _that?_

It wasn't her looks, if it was, he'd have fallen for most of Konoha's female inhabitants.

_Because you're you, _he thinks out loud.

"Huh?"

"I said it's because you're you."

She smiles and takes his hand.


	52. Lust

**Im gonna try to do that whole seven sins thing.**

**enjoy**

* * *

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Well, Shikamaru thinks that the Sunan girl with the blonde hair and smooth, tan skin is perhaps the prettiest thing he has ever beheld on the very earth he stands on.

Of course, this would probably mean she's the most troublesome.

But Shikamaru doesn't _know_ that. All he knows is what he sees. And what you see is what you get, right?

And the sway of her hips and arch of her back was what he wanted to get.

Shikamaru knows he's not the most innocent person in the world. He knows his mind wanders at times. But at the same time, he's reserved. He doesn't usually act out on whatever thought captures the attention of his overactive brain. He's not sinless but he's not sinful.

But those sin filled lips pursed in thought at where to go from the gates of Konoha sent his mind reeling.

Lust is not a complicated thing. One can try to analyze it but it all comes down to one thing: want.

Shikamaru wants her.

But the logic in his mind tells him to walk away. 'You avoid trouble. Turn around now. Don't dip your toes into uncharted waters.'

But even though lust isn't complicated, it's strong and powerful and _persuasive._

Shikamaru takes a tentative yet sure step towards her.

His mind groans but his mouth is curved up into a smile.

* * *

**And another awkward ending from your awkward author. **

**REVIEW**


	53. Greed

**enjoy**

* * *

He's greedy, he knows.

He feels greed in his bones when she smiles _that _smile at him.

He can hear it when she whispers in his ears, lips grazing his ear lobe.

He feels it in his palms after holding her hand.

He smells it when he buries his face in her hair.

He can taste it on his lips after kissing her.

He's unexpectedly greedy, he knows.

* * *

Temari is expectedly greedy.

She knows when she steals away his time.

When she makes it known that she's the only one for him with a kiss.

When he says her name in _that _way that tells her she's doing _everything _right.

When his behavior changes for that split second when it comes to her.

When his cockiness blooms to challenge her own.

When they're alone and she takes more from him and gives little back.

When she can't get enough.

She knows and she doesn't regret.

* * *

**Meh...**


	54. Sloth

**NOTICE: I AM CHANGING MY PENNAME TO PANOPTICBIBELOT OR PANOPTIC_BIBELOT ONE OF THE TWO.  
****JUST LOOK OUT FOR THESE TWO WORDS IN MY USERNAME- PANOPTIC AND BIBELOT  
name of story stays the same...  
**

**NOTICE2: READ A/N AT THE BOTTOM. VERY IMPORTANT!**

**enjoy**

* * *

"Just lie down for a minute." He says as he pats the spot next to him as if that was enough to quell Temari's list of many backbreaking demands.

"Did you not here a word of what I just said?" Temari asks in disbelief with her arms crossed, standing over him and blocking out the warm sun.

"Just lie down." Shikamaru repeats.

She sits instead; arms still crossed and back straight.

He glances at her and sighs. "Lie, I said."

Temari shoots him a look and says, "I'll do what I want."

Shikamaru shrugs as best as he could on his back and mumbles out a weak, "Suit yourself," before closing his eyes and settling deeper into the soft grass.

Eventually, Temari relaxes, putting her arms behind her to hold herself up and uncrossing her crisscrossed legs.

The sun feels good, she thinks.

**###**

Shikamaru is softly snoring and Temari is lying on her side now, facing him. She wants to tell him how good it feels to just stay put. How she likes the feeling of her heartbeats slowing and the comforting way her breaths became heavier; the sensation of the ticklish grass beneath her skin.

But, she was tired, and it was much easier to just yawn, roll over onto her back, and fall asleep.

* * *

**I'M DONE WITH THIS STORY...**

**AFTER THIS WHOLE 7 SINS THINGS (and one more oneshot), I'M DONE UPDATING. I'VE HAD A LONG RUN AND I'VE ENJOYED WRITING IT BUT...IT'LL BE COMPLETE IN 5 MORE CHAPTERS. **

**I'LL STILL BE POSTING STORIES AND ONESHOTS. THEY'LL JUST BE SEPERATE FROM TMSK.**

**review**


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